Service

I have to admit it. Service has taken a backseat in our family, recently. When the little one turned two this past fall, my husband and I decided that it was time to do one family service project every month. Nothing outragious or grand, just a litte something that would drive the point home that we should do for others as Christ did. Well, we were successful in October, but that was as far as it went. Now, Lent is fast approaching (Feb. 6th is Ash Wednesday) and I am reminded more and more of the need for Christain Service.

Our parish, like many others, introduce Operation Rice Bowl through Catholic Relief Services. Operation Rice Bowl provides assistance to developing communities throughout the world so that they can have improved argiculture, water maintaince, mother and child care, microfinance, education, and AIDS/HIV need projects. This is a great way for families to throw some spare change that has been lying between the couch cushions into good use. Well, this was a red flag to me that we have let service slip by this winter.

But there are many other ways that we can show giving of ourselves. Make A Difference in 15, one of my favorite websites, can help with some ideas of how to create family service projects or maybe even individual service projects that can make an impact on many lives. One of my favorites is the used clothing ideas for women. As spring approaches (maybe), we all have some clothes that could be put to better use.

But the best is really giving the simple things. Is there someone ill or super stressed in your family, community, parish that could use a little pick-me-up? Send them a card. Is there a really active family in your neighborhood that would appreciate a playdate or a bannana bread and a cup of coffee? Is there someone that would appreciate a visit or a lift to the store? I know that I have been hyperfocused on my family's needs lately (with some good reason) and I have been reluctant to give anything of mine to others. As Lent approaches, I will be trying to work on that.

God Shots

I've been trying to take life at a calmer pace. My body seems to be rejecting any kind of stress. (This is not easy.) Recently, at a calmer pace I have noticed that my life has been filled with subtle"God Shots." (A term from a Jay Mohr comedy routine.) Little happenings that occur that remind us that God is with us and that others exemplify the light of Christ when we need it most.

To the people at Friendly's:

Thank you, for a very nice and stress-free lunch yesterday, even though the little one seemed to re-plaster the highchair with macaroni and cheese and had an intense conversation with the waitstaff over salad dressing. Thank you, for the free balloon and letting us exchange Reese's Pieces with M & M's ,because the little cannot have peanut butter yet, on her sundae. Thank you, for letting my husband try, unsuccessfully, to win at the games in the restaurant, at the amusement of the little one. It was some of the most fun that this snowed-in, sickly, pregnant family has had in a very long time.

To my husband:

Thank you, for watching the little one as often as possible so that I can let my food settle. Thank you, for trying to stay on top of the dishes and the cleaning. Thank you. for always knowing what to do when my food doesn't stay down. (But the refrigerator has something growing within that will soon grow legs and walk out, so if you could think about finding it, my stomach and nose would be most grateful.)

To my mothers:

Thank you, mom and mom-in-law, for spontaneously surprising me with cleaning my kitchen when you come over to watch the little one, even though it takes me a week to find where you have put everything. It makes for a fun little game, and you are a good sport about it. Thank you, to my mom who makes us food when I no longer have the stomach to cook or eat the food that my husband makes. Thank you, for even making food when I don't ask.

And thank you, to the little one, who can act as if she has a constant diet of refined sugar, for giving the occasional hug and kiss to remind me why I go through this everyday.

A Prairie Home Companion

Every Saturday evening on the long drive back from church, we all snuggle up and listen to A Prairie Home Companion on the radio. It's a radio variety show hosted by the famous author of the Lake Wobegon books, Garrison Keillor. It's the perfect blend of humor, song, and skits performed by a unique cast of characters. (My favorites of course, are the reports from Lake Wobegon and Guy Nior.) Our little one loves all the different varieties of music that are performed from spirituals to blue grass.

It's a great time for us to sit and relax and share in a program that doesn't seem to over stimulate you. Disappointed by commercial television programming, the radio is a nice alternative for us "commuter families" that have a long drive to and from almost anywhere. But commercial radio can be just as disappointing and C.D.'s can only go so far before everyone is bored. We are big fans of this type of entertainment that doesn't try and hit viewers or listeners over the head with advertising, graphics or over the top scandals.

I have to thank the Writer's Guild Strike. Before, my husband and I would turn on the television after a crazy day and sit still in the semi-quiet after the little one went down. (AHAHAHA) But now, there is very little worth our precious time on television. So, we have resurrected some of our old favorite movies. We remember a time that was a little simpler and share some happy memories from the past. It is inspiring us to recapture some of that simpler time. We can't go back, but we can move forward with a better understanding of what is important to us.

So, I invite you to tune out the commercial television and radio in your life and find simpler and much more entertaining ways to enjoy the people in your family. Play board games, card games, resurrect an old movie, listen to a radio program, (They have great C.D.'s of the old ones from the 40's and 50's, if your kids are a bit older.), or just share some old stories. It's a bast.

Finally, A Car

It felt like a choir of angels sang as we drove the new car home and parked it on the snow covered driveway today. Finally, the new car has been purchased and is sitting outside, all shinny and new. For some reason with the new car here, and the accident far behind us, we feel like we can start to get things accomplished at a more successful rate. Our little one was so excited for this large family purchase that she thinks that the car is for her. I guess, in some way, it is for her.

Mommy Sick Days

Yes, I over did it. After a disorganized Monday, Tuesday became a bit too crazy. I over did it and wound up sick that night. Food was the enemy and the world seemed too loud and fast paced. I called in back-up. I made my mother take a different lunch hour and come babysit the little one so that we could have a moments rest. (She was happy to just have some time with the little one that she didn't even mind.) My husband was so kind as to see that I was as pale as a sheet and in agony so, he took a sick day yesterday so that I could be sick. All I needed was some bland food and lots of rest. (NO prenatal vitamin today!) By this morning, I was still a bit weak, but my appetite was coming back. I've been through this before with out first pregnancy. We don't realize how fast paced our lives are until my body states in bold language, "ENOUGH!"

Mommy took a sick day. They really aren't sick days because the little one still needs to know that you are there and that everything will be alright. The husband has, what seems like, a million questions about where things are and who gets what and when. And you know that whenever you get back into the groove, there will be a mess waiting for you somewhere. But when it is all said and done, you have to remember that you have to do what's best for you and the little one within. It's only fair. And a little time away from the norm always helps other appreciate the job that you do everyday.

Prognosis: We all should be alright with continued rest and small frequent meals.

Great News!

For those of you who do not know, our family is expecting a new addition. We are so excited to be having another baby. We heard the heart-beat for the first time today. It sent my husband over the moon. I immediately asked, "How many beats per minute?" (Because I panic.) Our little one has requested a little brother and a little sister, but the medical community has confirmed that there is only one in there. (Whew!) We are due in late July and have so much work to do to get ready.

A little worried about what a new addition will mean to our family chemistry, we have been reading and researching the best plan for our family. It can be difficult, but anything worth having is worth a little difficulty. It's back to the books for me. All major decisions in my life have always been followed by a research and reflection period so that I feel more mentally ready to accept the challenge. (I know, I know, I'm a bit high-strung.) My husband is calmer and doesn't seem to panic quite as much as I do. (At least there is a balance.) Thank God for prayer.

Physically, my appetite has come back (as my husband does a little happy dance because this means yummy food in the making). I get, what I call, the "tireds" and nausea, but those have been waining since the first weeks of the pregnancy. Right now, the little one and I seem to be on the same schedule: she sleeps, I sleep, she eats, I eat. It's working so far. It's all in God's hands.

Sports Fans

I have to admit it, I'm not an athlete. I am as far from athletic as Joseph was at being the biological father of Jesus. It's just not possible. At four feet ten inches tall, I command no athletic presence and never wanted to. Once, in high school, the cheer leading coach asked my mother if she would consider allowing me to try out for the team. Once my mother found out the coaches use for my ninety pound body at the top of a lift, she declared a resounding, "NO!" I did, however, grow up with a respect for sports and those that have the God given talent to play them.

Growing up in New York City, baseball was in my family's blood. With annual trips to Yankee and Shea stadiums, I have fond memories of falling asleep long before the "good stuff" ever happened. My mother hated all sports except for baseball, while my little Italian-American grandmother loved all sports and giggled when my Italian born grandfather shouted at the television with such zeal, "You salami," and then fell off the chair. (Too much zeal.)

Well, as I grew older and boys no longer seemed repugnant, I fell in love and married a football fan. Oh, the agony. I had no idea about football. As most people would have done, I tried to understand the sport. I just didn't understand why the players had to hit one another so hard and why were they so angry? It seemed primitive. But over time, he wore me down, and I have grown to enjoy the game. Our little one loves to watch football with her Daddy, mostly because she likes to see her Daddy smile and cheer (and make silly faces and fall on the floor when the team does something displeasing). He even likes baseball and watches it as well.

I have a sinking suspicion that our little one will one day join a sport. She should. And I will, once again, be out of my realm. What else is new. I suppose that's all part of the game, the parenting game that is; being able to put your needs and comfort levels aside for the good of your children.

Reading, Reading, and More Reading

When our little one was an infant it felt like all we did was change her, feed her, and read to her. That was the majority of our day, anyway. With some tummy time sprinkled in here, and some Peter and the Wolf there, and lots of well deserved naps for everyone, she liked reading the best.

Since about 3 months old, she could really focus in on television, so we cut it out of our daily diet. That's right, in large part no television for the little one till she was 16 months. Now, there are such strict rules about television in our house that I get some strange glances from other family members when I tell them she can't watch that. It's mainly because we feel that television should be limited, but not prohibited. We allow her to watch mostly PBS aired programming and some Fraggle Rock.

Today, the little one has three regular story times: mid-morning, before the afternoon nap, and at bedtime. She looks forward to them, for the most part, and they seem to really settle her right down when her world may be feeling a little crazy. Each story time is about 15 minutes long, grand totalling to at least 45 minutes of reading a day.

From a non-expert, it is so important to read to children at least 15 minutes a day. It increases security, self-confidence, and self-esteem. It increases literacy, word decoding, and most of all creates a love for learning and reading that can never be extinguished. Send a book to a young someone in your life. You might be pleasantly surprised by the reaction that you receive.

Pizza and A Haircut

After dealing with the disappointment of not finding a car, my husband and I felt that we needed to do something as a family to refresh our positive outlook today (which has been dwindling). So, I decided we needed to go get new haircuts. Sounds drastic to some people, but getting a haircut where we live is a really pleasurable experience.

We have this lovely little salon run by the sweetest young woman. She gives the best haircut in three counties and she is a dear friend. She knows both sides of our family intimately, as she does most families in town. And our little one loves her. She's part hair dresser, counselor, cheerleader, and personal consultant. It may be a little odd that we have such a close relationship with the hairdresser, but that's the way things are here. She did the hair for all the men and women of our bridal party on my wedding day and also my sister-in-law's wedding. She even came to the house to trim my hair after I had gotten home from the hospital with our little one. She is a very special person.

The only problem is that this salon only takes walk-in's so if you want to get your cut, you might wait awhile. While you wait, you can run into every female and male counterpart in the community. Everyone talks and shares. Just so happened that my mother-in-law had the same idea this morning and we ran right into her. Small towns.

With new hair cuts we felt new and clean and ready to take on the day. While we waited, I called ahead to the local pizza joint and ordered a real treat: take-out cheese pizza and a salad (almost never done in our family). Pizza and a haircut. Family favorites, family visits, and good friends.

Honesty

My husband and I try to teach our little one about honesty. We model honesty. We explain honesty in terms that she can understand. She is influenced by the family members and friends that she knows and of course she is exposed to honesty in church. Right now, she is in a stage where she is decoding what is a an untruth and what actually happened. But buying a car can really aggravate an honest person.

I simply do not understand it. I guess you could call me a strong personality. Honesty is what I am known for. I try to still be respectful and gentle, but honest. So when my husband and I explain to the salesman what we want and what we can pay for it, why does he show us something else? Just give me what I want. I don't have this kind of time. And if you can't show me what I need, just tell me and I will move on. Well, in one of my honest moves today, we left the dealership still without a new car. I thanked him for his time, but left. He offered all sorts of other ideas and hopes to give my husband and me a call. (Just wait till he does.)

Honesty. People should try it. It's refreshing and makes for good business.

Lord, Give Me Strength

In my youth, my mother's favorite saying when things seemed to be spiraling out of control was, "Saint Jude, sit on my shoulders." I'm not quite sure what that really meant, but I knew that whenever she said that, I backed away slowly and quietly without any sudden moves. My favorite saying is, "Lord, give me strength." And at the time that I say it, it's more like a demand then a request. Well, today was one of those, "Lord, give me strength" days.

Things were settled with the little one. She was playing quietly. (Hooray! A silent victory parade marched through my mind.) When the doors to chaos seemed to open wide. Slowly, we managed to get everything back on track after I broke into a cold sweat and some blood vessels popped deep in my brain. And then I said it, "Lord, give me strength."

I realized that by saying this, what I really do is take a deep breath, stand back. and reevaluate what the real problem is in the middle of all the craziness. AH. Then slowly, with some divine intervention, things seem to right themselves temporarily. Sometimes, I need to talk about it, write about it, or just do something different for my nerves to settle down. When all the dust settled today, I did have strength.

Challenging, But Up.

When things seems too frustrating to handle, I try to look forward toward the future. For us, we have an opportunity to take some time and plan a brief and an inexpensive (I mean dirt cheap) mini-vacation this spring. Just the idea of taking some time to get away from the three needy dogs, the snow that never seems to stop this year, my husband's crazy work schedule, and weeks that seem to already plan themselves before you even get to them, sounds divine! I love the idea of taking some family time. Sometimes you don't even have to leave the house to feel like you have gone somewhere. As a family, little things like pitching a tent in the living room and pretending like you are camping with picnic food and games, while it snows outside, can do the trick. Or if you can, give the kids to grandma for the night and create a theme night for you and your spouse, with ethic food and movies.

We also have an opportunity to finally replace the car that was totalled in the November accident. Car buying can be hard on a family. There is usually a tight budget and the stamp on your forehead that says, "I have no idea about car shopping." This time we have done the research and we are very certain about the terms and agreements that we want to make. This is the first car buying experience where I will to be apart of the "negotiations committee." With God on our side, I hope to walk away from this month with a new car. (Darn it!) But my good mood started with the purchase of a shelving unit with a left over gift card. I didn't even pay for it, but it is helping to clean-up the craziness. So use those old gift cards and certificates. It's a ball.

And it has been a tantrum-free day. We have had some close calls, but no blown fuses yet. Things are looking up. Challenging, but up.

Tantrums

I always knew that deep inside we are all capable of a tantrum if we let ourselves. Well, today the little one had her first full-fledged tantrum. Scared me to pieces. Her father tried to handle it the best way he thought, but it may not have been as effective as he hoped.

In times of crisis, such as today, I take a deep breath, pray a small prayer, and stay strong, but compassionate. Then, I read. I have always been the most at home in a library. In fact, the people close to me might say that I have turned my house into a library, but I suppose their are worse things. So today, I turned to Penelope Leach's Your Baby and Child. (She has never failed me yet.) I love this book. I bought it in my fourth month of pregnancy with the little one when my OB suggested that, as an academic person, I should focus less on the child birth classes, which he claimed come naturally, and study parenting. It was one of the best $20 I ever spent. She tells you the physical and mental needs behind eating and growing, teething, sleeping, crying, playing and so much more. And then gives practical advice that can guide a parent to handling situations positively. We have gone through some difficult times with our little one's growth and this book has never been wrong.

After reading it, I explained to my husband that we could have done better. I suggested that he read it as well. After which we both feel like we can handle the next tantrum a bit better now that we know where they are coming from. In parenting as in life, I suppose you will always make mistakes. But the hope is to learn from the mistakes and be a better person and therefore, be a better parent.

Oh, What A Night!

"In mid-January, back in '08.." (Doesn't have quite the same ring as the original, "Oh, What A Night!") Anyway, the little one has been really under the weather. On Thursday, when we almost had this cold knocked out of her, she caught it again from her father. AHAHAHAH! So, I give up. We are going to the doctor first thing in the morning and if they don't give me an early appointment, so help me God, I will reach through the phone and explain the fires of Hell to that nurse. (Can you tell that I haven't gotten any sleep in two nights?)

Knitting Knutts

I have to admit it. I am a knitting nut! I love to play around with new stitches and yarns. I love to spin wools and other fibers for a real homespun look.

When I was an adolescent, not a pretty time in my past, I latched on to the fiber arts like most teenagers latch on to parties. I was small and socially awkward. I hadn't yet figured out my own personal style. ( And don't think that I have quite mastered style even still.) My parents did not have much, but for a time they owned a small store on Main Street in our small town. A sister of our neighbor often demonstrated fiber arts and my parents invited her to demonstrate at the store. I was fascinated. I asked to learn how to spin right away, but the response was, "What would you do with all that yarn if you do not know how to knit?" So I learned how to knit first. My mother and I went to all kinds of knitting and spinning club meetings and bees for years. It's a great hobby to share with kids. I can't wait till my little is old enough, but I sure do love the baby sweater phase, too.

As an adult, I just do not have the time or resources to donate to the cause anymore. But I still try new patterns and yarns. This year I have decided that everyone next Christmas is going to get something hand knitted. I started the day after this past Christmas and so far no real progress. With all the sickness running around our family, I haven't knitted much, but I am still committed. Maybe soon I'll have a scarf or something to show for all the hard work.

Who's Excited for Lent

Lent was never my favorite season in the Church calendar. As a kid, it always seemed so solemn. All I knew was that I had to give something up as Jesus had given his life. One year, the Sisters at school said that we should give up something that we really loved. So I gave up cucumbers, my favorite snack in the whole world. (My mother was a health-nut like I am today.) When she asked what I had given up, and I told her cucumbers, she protested. She said I had to pick something else. I never could find a satisfactory substitute.

As I become older, I sacrificed on a grander scale. I once gave up television. (I had the best grades ever during that quarter.) I gave up candy once. (The dentist was happy about that.) It wasn't until I became a twenty-something that the sacrifices became more about cleansing myself of negativity and giving of myself more and more to God. I pledged to be more prayerful. I pledged to me more understanding. I pledged to be more giving of my material goods. (Though there was never much to give, especially in college.) When my husband and I married, our first Lent together was spent largely apart. I was pregnant and miserable and he was working. So I have grown to almost dread this season. I lose my husband to a landslide of work commitments and I have to work harder spiritually and physically.

But this year, something is different. I'm looking forward to Lent. I can't really explain it except to say that there is a normalcy in this ritual cleansing that I am craving this year. Our family has experienced some abnormalities this last year and I like knowing what I can expect, to some degree, this Lent. It's like a spring cleaning for the spirit where I am able to do more and be more for others. Plus, the little one can understand more this year, so maybe it will have even more meaning for our family. I invite everyone to get more excited about Lent as an opportunity rather than an obligation.

The Kitchen

Ah, the kitchen. The center of our house. Maybe it's because with two adults and a growing toddler we eat constantly. Maybe it's because of the yummy meals that come from love. Maybe because it is one of the few times we all sit still and enjoy each other all day. Maybe it's because if you ever want to talk to me for any length of time, you'll find me in the kitchen. Maybe its because we watch too much Food Network. I'm not exactly sure what the recipe was, but I'm sure glad that it has worked out that way.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot keep the little one out of the kitchen. I panic when I am cooking and she is anywhere close to the kitchen. I think it is just too dangerous. But she is curious and wants to be with mommy. When she was little I could give her a plastic spatula and a bowl and she would go to town. We even bought her her very own kitchen. She has little interest in it. She wants to be in the real kitchen. After I have regained some patience, I usually try and have her help in the kitchen. She has been helping prepare meals and baked goods for about 6 months now. I put her in her booster seat, strap her in, and let her mix ingredients. Recently, she has become really good at pouring and cracking eggs. She loves it.

As she gets older, and bigger, she has become a climber. She can get on, over, under, between anything in our house. Yesterday, she decided that the booster seat was just not going to cut it. Within two seconds, she hopped up on a dining room chair, knelt, put her elbows on the table and asked what she could help with. After my heart leaped in panic, I couldn't help but smile. (She has a way of making me do that.) She seemed steady. So I cut some oven baked potato fries and had her season them while we talked and snacked on broccoli stems. When daddy came home for dinner, I told him that Emma made the fries. He asked her if this was true. She smiled and casually said, "Yeah." As if to say, "No big deal, wait till you see what I will do when I get older." We all can't wait for that.

The Dream

The dream is to have a medium sized family with children well spaced out so that everyone feels special and appreciated without driving mommy to the pscych ward at the local hospital.

The dream is to have a small well maintained home with low ceilings to breed closeness.

To have the children share bedrooms and learn the difficulties and the joys of respecting each others space.

The dream is to have the children do their homework around the dining room table every afternoon and evening, asking questions about topics that we have long since forgot.

The dream is to have the older children read to and grow closer to their younger siblings rather than resent their existence for their whole life.

The dream is to have family breakfast and dinner at least 4 days out of 5.

The dream is to look outside and see children playing on the lawn.

The dream is to have well adjusted and polite children that enjoy doing family activities together.

The dream is to mention the idea of a vacation and everyone puts in their two cents, and begins to get truly excited.

The dream is to go to so many concerts, recitals, games, matches, and shows that we know the teachers, classmates, families, and layout of every building by heart.

The dream is to be making dinner and have little hands trying to snatch a taste before its ready.

The dream is for the children to never see a boundary between going to church and living the Church.

The dream is for the children to love and respect their grandparents and absorb their goodness.

The dream is for my husband and I to have such close relationships with our children that they miss us when they leave.

The dream is to have our children choose their vocations with the confidence that we will respect and support their decisions.

The dream is to have a long and loving marriage as a gift to our children.

That's the dream.

We Have a Chest Cold

I have to admit that I am a scared-y-pants when it comes to bacteria and viruses. Their potential is endless, and as a mom all I want to do is exterminate them immediately.

For three weeks during the Christmas season I had the worst chest cold. It just wanted to be bronchitis. But I wouldn't let it. Now, the little one has it and we are fighting it every step of the way. After my doctor recommended some over the counter medicines we have taken the offensive. Lots of water, plain but nutritious food, lots of sleep, restful activities, and some old fashion tried and true remedies. And slowly, but surely we are winning the war.

I panic inside, but I show an outer composure of nurturing confidence. My husband has chronic asthma that is always one cold away from a hospital visit. So when a germ invades our house we go on high alert. Washing sheets, changing toothbrushes, disinfecting, no touching eyes or nose. We must conquer.

Labeling

Alright, mommy moment.

It is very obvious to anyone who watches my family, and I really don't suggest it for long periods of time, that we do not fit in any sort of mold. I'm 4 feet ten inches tall and my husband is six feet tall. (Dancing is a struggle.) And our little one has a projected growth curve at around five feet six inches tall. I have black hair, my husband has blond, and our little one has brown. I have brown eyes, my husband has green, and the little one has blue. It goes around and around this way.

I would venture that as varied as human beings are, so are parenting styles. My husband and I parent differently then our parents did us. There are many reasons why we have chosen a different path. We have different priorities, struggles, environments, and life experiences. I do not think less of my parents simply because they did things differently. I have faith that they did the best they could under the circumstances. As I also feel about other more contemporary families.

However, there has been great buzz in "mommy cyberspace" about attachment parenting theory and other Catholic models of parenting. I have to be honest, I had never heard of such a thing till recently. I'm not a psychologist, but as a teacher, as a mom, as a fairly academic person, I think this is an open-ended war. Parents are running into dangerous territory.

It is healthy for different theories to present themselves and to also be academically evaluated. However, I do not think that it is healthy for parents to criticize each other over the theories that they prescribe to unless there is harm done to the child. When the issues are boiled down it seems to be a case of labeling. Parents want to label their parenting styles and their children so that others can easily contrast them to the greater public. In education, as well as in life, labeling can be a dangerous action. It can be good to label, to a degree, such as labeling a child learning disabled so that the child can receive services to better the learning process. However, the danger comes in the prescribing of the same services to that child no matter the need. Services are provided to the child based on an individual education plan. Then there comes the stigma. The stereotype. Labeling can hurt.

I firmly believe that each child has an individual education plan as well as an individual parenting plan. Sure there are some generalities that can be drawn for some families, but as varied as a humans physical appearance, so is their emotional, social, and spiritual needs that we as parents must tune into and tune out of all this right way/wrong way nonsense. Even if you do not verbalize it, parents still fell the implications.

Your Name?

My husband's job is a rather public one, well, at least it is public to the over 1,500 families that attend our parish. With four solidly attended masses every weekend, daily mass, weddings, funerals, retreats, sacraments, a vibrant youth community, committees, and ministries growing every year, my husband comes in contact with a few people. He manages music for all liturgies, an average 30 member choir (which swells to 40 members during Christmas and Easter, go figure), children's choir, nearly 20 cantors, and a folk ensemble every week. He's amazing.

But aside from his nearly superhero-like schedule, the strangest thing keeps happening to the both of us. Let me give you a taste......One day, in city far far from here, my family and I were taking an annual Christmas shopping trip to a book and toy store. We stopped at a coffee shop to settle down for some homemade meatloaf sandwiches from "Spaeth Catering" when some nice older folks loudly proclaimed that they had spied the, "piano player, from church." They came right up to our family and told us all about their day and how much they enjoy church and the music. It was nice, but they never introduced themselves. And before we knew, they we gone.

In the book store, I had some lovely lady pop up behind me and tell me how much my little one has grown. She remembered when she was an infant and enjoys watching her at mass. ("And you are?") And the next thing I know, she was called over to help a customer. Apparently, she was working at the book store. My husband gets incidents like this all the time at mass. People come up to him and talk to him, good or bad, they more often then not, never give a name. And the next thing you know they are off and running someplace else.

We understand that because my husband, and therefore our family, is apart of so many special moments, and as regular as the sun coming up on the weekends, he is a constant for parishioners. They feel like they know him. Sometimes, if we are lucky, we able to ask for a name before people hop along. From now on, I make a conscious effort to introduce myself to people, even if they have done some ground work and already know who I am, I introduce myself. It's polite. And it doesn't take much effort to be just a little kinder. You never know.

The Gopher

Years ago, during a long season of duress, my cousin-in-law, gave us a Gopher.

No, not a real one, thank God. One of those handy helping tools sold on the T.V., the Gopher is like an arm extension, so that with a squeeze of a trigger you can grab almost anything. She gave everyone a Gopher that year. She's a physical therapist and doesn't believe in over extending. We laughed and teased her for a whole year about this obviously unusual gift.

This was about five years ago and since then we haven't the heart to throw it away. Recently, bending hasn't been a pleasurable experience so I dusted off the old Gopher and tried it out. Before this, the Gopher was only used to dispose of dead mice that lost their battles during the winter season. So I disinfected it and ever since it has been a life saver. I grab everything with that thing: toys, clothes, stuffed animals, crayons, dog bowls, you name it.

So the moral of the story is: We live in a throw away culture. So often we chuck anything that isn't of the most use at that very moment with little forethought. Think carefully. Some strange gift that you get one day could be helpful later on, especially if it is given out of love and concern. A little wacky, no doubt, but my cousin-in-law was thinking of our best interest. So think carefully this new year, as you consider the clutter and spring cleaning around the corner. There may be use for something yet.

The Eye Doctor

"Can you see me now?"

When we had our little girl, my husband and I decided that we should make certain that we were comfortable and satisfied with all of our family doctors so that from a young age, our little one could also feel comfortable. That seemed reasonable to me. So we made sure we were comfortable with all our doctors, but the optometrist was last on the list because his appointments only come around every two years.

We thought that our little one might benefit from something a little less high traffic than our usual eye care center in the mall. We were concerned, however, because our eye coverage isn't the most comprehensive. But we saved and were finally ready to get the show on the road.

It is so important for infants and toddlers to see an eye doctor as early as possible. Most doctors recommend that an infant see an eye doctor within the first year of life, sometimes through the InfantSEE program, but we felt that our little one wasn't ready for that. She was quite terrified of the doctor then. We felt that by forcing her into a scary situation with instruments coming at her in the dark might not be the best confidence building outcome that we could hope for. Plus we both felt that her vision didn't seem conpromised and there was no real sign to worry.

But today we have SUCCESS!! The eye doctor is wonderful. He's professional and gentle, and most of all caters to families. We are so blessed to have finally rounded up a group of professional doctors and nurses that we feel comfortable with and that our little one feels comfortable with. Being your family's advocate is one of the most important jobs a parent has.

The Tree

I'm sorry, but the tree must come down!

I know that the Christmas season is still upon us, but the tree has to come down. Every year we leave the tree up through Epiphany, but this year, it's too cluttered. There are still remains of Christmas wrapping scraps, glitter, and newly acquired toys blossoming all over the living room. Half of the lights spontaneously went out around December 15th and the dogs have eaten all the macaroni garland from the bottom of the tree. It's a sad looking beast at this very moment.

We still have our Jessie Tree and the Nativity on display. Aren't those the true Christmas symbols, anyway? My little girl understands more so that Christmas is "Jesus' Birthday" rather than why we have this large plastic tree that lights up in the middle of the living room restricting her play space. (We have to have an artificial tree because my husband is allergic to the real thing. That's right. He sneezes uncontrollably if he is within 30 feet of those green rascals. I wonder what it would be like to take him on a hike?)

So, if you have a tree and you can still keep it up, buy all means, keep the Christmas tree for all to enjoy. But if you have to take it down, let's not let the true meaning of Christmas be put away or thrown to the side of the road for garbage pick-up. God gave his only son, in his most vulnerable form, for us to know and love. Let's treasure this.

Life in the Great Northeast

This is how you know you live East of Nowhere.....

This morning my husband had to crank up the snow-blower as the sun was rising to clear the driveway. Not too uncommon. But he had a bit of trouble getting out because the dirt road that our driveway is adjacent to had not been plowed. So he snow blowed that, too. It's not so much that it hadn't been plowed, but that it was never going to be plowed. See, the town refuses to plow this road for some unknown reason and the only way we can get out is if a 70 year old neighbor of ours that bears a striking resemblance to Santa Claus, encourages his 50 year old Jeep Wrangler, which he coaxes with sweet nothings to get up the hill. However, he mainly plows because his younger sister must use this dirt road as well. So if she doesn't need him to plow he might not, or in the very best do it when he is ready and able, rather than at our family's convenience. Although this situation is good for a laugh, the Church my husband works at cannot stop masses, funerals, and meetings simply because it snowed. So we make the best of it. My husband is usually covered in a cloud of snow from the snow blower, our daughter knows the sound of it almost instantly, and we all pray for small scrapper banks and warm sun to melt our troubles away.

First Day

First day of the new year and we have another 8 inches of snow! And of course, my husband had to play for the Holy Day today and had to drive through the unplowed roads. My heart skips a beat every time he sleds home in this weather. We live about an hour away from church so just going to work on a clear day can be an adventure. But he is finally home, safe and secure. We are going to spend the rest of the day with each other and who ever is brave enough to push the limits of automobile safety to get to our little house. I wish all of you a Happy New Year.