Being Prayerful

Confession: Prayer

Let's face it. We are all probably guilty of not praying as much as we would like, or hope, or need. I'm guilty as charged. Prayer is part of the very foundation of our relationship with God, and it always gets put to the back burner.

Look at all the the things that we have to do in the day: getting meals together, getting the kids ready, getting yourself and spouse ready, activities, school, driving all over the earth, shopping, errands, animal chores (love those), cleaning (who could forget cleaning), and bed (ah, sweet relief). After that day who wouldn't pass out in satisfaction that the ride has come to a full and complete stop?

But something happened today that made me think. I love it when that happens.

I was flipping through the channels on the television this afternoon, finding something appropriate for a minute as I tried to make the room stop spinning, when I came upon Sister Lucy. My oldest was busy tearing the room apart when she stopped everything to watch Sister Lucy. Glued. The child dropped everything and was glued!!! Sister Lucy talked a great deal to a puppet named Clare about prayer. (Which also happens to be a major topic in our household with our oldest.) She mentioned that we have to live our life as a prayer, as a living prayer.

What a challenge! What a joy! To live your life as a prayer to God. Imagine that for a moment because I am still having trouble wrapping my mind around it. Not just praying more often, but continually through your life. Think of doing all those day to day things: errands, activities, school, in prayer to God. It certainly calms my stress level a bit. And what a modeling opportunity.

Later, the room stopped spinning, Clare and Sister Lucy said good-bye, and the oldest clamored for more.

Why Are We Learning This?

Every parent goes through moments when they are faced with educational challenges with their children. What should I teach them? When is it time to learn something new? How should I teach them? These are all common and perfectly normal questions. In fact, I would say that if you aren't asking yourself these questions you may be doing your children a disservice.

Every child is different and requires specific attention to their interests and learning styles. For our oldest we have choosen a Catholic School. It best fits her needs right now. But for some children this may not be the best option. We try and take it year by year. Similar to Individual Educational Plan evaluations in public schools, we re-evaluate her academic, spiritual, social, and emotional needs each spring. We model self-evaluation at home and try to show how love of learning and the continuation of learning throughout life is the healthiest option. When we show how we use the information that children learn, then there are less questions about why they are learning certain concepts as they get older. It's all in the application of Faith and knowledge.

Catholic education whether at home or in a classroom setting is peaceful, loving, nuturing, and academically challeging. It helped me gain a greater understanding of my Faith, not as a subject to be taken during the school day or on Sunday mornings, but as a foundation on which we build our lives. There is no equivalent. If the goal is to raise children that are peaceful, nuturing, and faithfilled then we, as parents, have to look carefully at the educational methods that we use to convey those ideals.

How do you continue your education? How do you foster Catholic education in others?

The Small Stuff

Last night, my husband and I were feeling quite overwhelmed at the amount of responsibilities that we have before, during, and after the Easter season. The details are suffocating. While we were sitting there being daunted by the shear size of the tasks that lay before us, we realized that it was time to stop spending our time feeling sorry for ourselves and start working at accomplishing our tasks. We had some small victories and it felt really good to know that we had achieved success no matter how small.

This week, there were some important successes.

1.Brownies. I made Coffee Almond Brownies for the choir tonight. They needed something to take the performance edge off and recommit to a great Easter.

2.Potty Victory. The oldest used the potty at school successfully and the potty outside the house again. Yeah!

3.Emails. I have been really unable to email our friends that live far away. This week I was able to get started on catching up.


Sometimes all we have are the small successes, but it feels really good to remind yourself how much you have accomplished.

Quick reminder to all those Being Bookish members out there: Get a copy of Big Russ and Me soon. We begin discussions in 1 week.

Scrambled Eggs

Ever have so many thoughts running through your head at the same time that the English language just doesn't lend itself to communicate all of them? My brain is full of so many things it is like scrambled eggs up there today.

So let's start with the Thank You's:

Thank you to the oldest for taking a nice nap today.

Thank you to the youngest for not being too cranky with your teething to play with me today. (I really liked that.)

Thank you to the car for not taking a long vacation weekend and getting us to and from where we needed to be today.


Requests:

That the youngest sleep for a change tonight.

That the oldest sleep through the whole night and not be too disturbed by the little one if he wakes up (which he won't because I just asked nicely).

That the husband find some vast store of patience so I can loose mine.

That the dogs eat only their food tonight and please stop running through the mud.

Prayers:

For Life: that all life be blessed and know it is intentional and celebrated.

For Guidance: that our family can receive divine guidance when the oldest uses ketchup as a painting medium and my shirt is covered in carrot.

For Love & Hope: that we may give love and hope.

Still feels like scrambled eggs up there.

Locating Trust

The oldest has a shoe in either hand and is invading the kitchen.

"No, no. no," said the father very quickly as he observed the strange behavior.

The oldest began to stutter a bit and used every ounce of concentration to say something quickly before the father would put a stop to this new adventure. "But I'm trying to locate them," she said as we looked down to notice that she had sorted all the shoes downstairs in the kitchen in a very nice semi-circle.

What was the father to do? He laughted and let her "locate" till her hearts content and then helped her put them all away when the game was over.

Life is funny. One minute you are having a pleasant conversation with your husband and the next thing you know you have a prentend bowling alley of shoes in your kitchen. But sometimes we have to let go, stop trying to control everything and trust. Trust ourselves, trust our spouses, trust God.

Easy to say. A lifetime challenge to practice.

The Small Stuff

Webster's Dictionary defines success in three ways: (a) a degree or measure of succeeding (b) favorable or desired outcome (c) the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.

Everyday we are bombarded with images of wealth and granduer and told that this is what we should want. Popular culture perpetuates this theory with television shows and songs that are made to influence our thinking. Recently, tragically, the ecomony has forced many people out of work and those popular images seem more out of reach then ever. People are turning inward and helping one another, learning how to live on less, and expecting more from the simple pleasures in life. There's no fancy camp for the kids this summer, no trips to Africa, no new cars, no latest fashions, just learning how to live better on less.

Does this mean that people are less successful simply because they do not have as many things as they would like?

So often as parents, we cannot always see the favorable outcome or the desired success because we are caught up in the day to day routine of our lives. But there is success. Small though it is sometimes, out kids won't care if they go to Africa, but if their parents played with them. I know that I am preaching to the choir, but I often struggle with the reality of not being about to provide all the things that some parents can to their children because my husband and I choose a more meaningful path. Are we less succeessful?

Today's Successes:

1. The Dishwasher. Fixed and doing the job of ten people right now.

2. The Classmate. My oldest finally spoke up for herself and told her teacher, after working with her for 7 months, when a classmate pushed her today. Yeah!

3. Potty Victory. My oldest had a potty victory outside the house today. Yeah!

A pretty successful day in my opinion. What are your successes?

Ok, Let's Talk About It.

Breastfeeding.

There has been some buzz in the blogosphere recently about the toll that breastfeeding takes on mothers. (Read the article.) Some women with very loud thoughts feel that breastfeeding chains them to their baby so that they can never get a moments peace. While others replied that a mother's job is to nurture and it should not feel like slavery if you really take it seriously.

Here's my reality:

We have a decent risk of diabetes on both sides of our family and a severe risk of chronic asthma; breastfeeding was a must for our family. I never even really considered an alternative, but I wasn't going to enter into this new chapter in our family's life without a bit of research.

I read books, talked to other women in and out of my family for their take on breastfeeding, and most importantly, talked to my husband about what we should do together. We committed to the first six months of breastfeeding. We bought a pump before the baby was born. We purchased all the supplies: bags, breast pads, nursing bras, all of it. I was still working outside the home at that point and I was not going to let the baby have anything other than breast milk. I loved breastfeeding so much that I kept it up till our oldest was able to have whole milk. (Even though the last few months of my job did not like me breastfeeding.)

Pumping may not please many intense breastfeeding mothers, but it is a solution for those that work outside the home or those that would appreciate the freedom to complete necessary parts of the day without disturbing the baby's routine. It also allows the father and others to enjoy feeding in a way they would not have been able to with exclusive breast feeding. And we always have to keep in mind the real possibilty of an emergency or illness that may take the mother away from the baby for some time....frozen breast milk is the best.

Alright, so enough about the joys of pumping. The bottom line is that mothers and fathers have to do the research and judge for themselves what is the best for their family. Set reasonable goals for yourself and don't listen to all those people that get bothered by the fact that you have committed to a natural way of feeding your baby. I read once that 90% of new mothers leave the hospital or birthing center committed to breastfeeding, but find that it was too difficult; only 30% stay committed.

It's not easy. There's nothing about parenting that is easy, but if you can, do the research and consider breastfeeding. And let's not be offended when some of us choose a different path. Maybe, just maybe, it's a deeper issue than just breastfeeding.

Sounds of the House

Here are some famous phrases from our house lately;

"I tried to write my name," as she pointed to the window. "What did you write on the window with?" asked her mother. "Cheese," said the three year-old.

"Look, Mom. I am conditioning it," said the three year-old as she smeared a tube of her brother's hydrocortosone cream all over her hair.

"When I'm naked I look like Eve!"

"Today was a birthday party at school, but there were no crowns or tiaras!"

"Hum...bkelec," said the little one as he spit up his afternoon snack.

"Woof!" went the dog who refused to stay outside and enjoy the few minutes of sunshine that we have had this winter.

"Why can I never find a towel?" said the husband this morning.

To the tune of "Living on a Prayer' by Bon Jovi "We're half way there. Whoa, livin' on a pear. Take my hand and we will make I swear. Whoa, livin' on a pear," sang the family at dinner as we remembered how mommy tried to coax the little one into eating his pears.

Stretch It Out

Has anybody else noticed that even though the price of fuel has dropped since the climb last summer, the prices on food have remained high? Whoever does the shopping and cooking in your house has to be a miracle worker to make the same amount of money stretch to meet every one's needs. In my family, we have found that we just had to increase our budget to meet household needs. Not an easy thing to do with a limited income.

Here are some tips on how to keep that "green" working for you through the week so that we waste none and want none.

1. Have no real entree planned for a night? No meat in site and the fridge seems bare. How about vegetable soup? I bet you have onions, celery, and carrots, a good place to start for a great soup. Even if you don't have those veggies, any veggies will do. Throw some rice or pasta in it and it's delicious and nutritious.

2. Left over meatloaf or hamburgers? How about chili? Crumble up your meat and put together your favorite chili fixin's. Make sure to add the cumin and your family won't know what hit them.

3. No bread? When your out at the store always pick up a package of tortilla wraps. No bread, no problem. Use a wrap and fill it full of veggies, peanut butter and jelly, cold cuts, whatever.

4. Eggs. The miracle food. Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner, make a frittata with eggs, cheese, veggies, or herbs and you have a hit.

Of course, many of us, already know some of these tips, but new ones are always appreciated.

Taking A Look Back

In search for inspiration for today's blog, I took a scroll back in time to some previous posts from last year. I read "God Shots" and determined that although I was in the throws of my first trimester with the littlest one, I was a much calmer person than I am now.

Time to stop, reflect, and pray on what allowed me to be more at peace then. Hormones? Maybe. But I would be willing to guess that it was just time. Time to write this blog, time to play more with the little one, time to work on my hobbies. It is completely understandable that I wouldn't have lots of time after a new baby to do all sorts of things, but now the littlest one isn't so new and it is time to have time.

Take this self-reflective journey with me. How have you changed over the last year? Good changes? Not so good changes? How can you bring yourself around so that you can live a more Spirited life?

Maybe this would be a good time to read a good book on life, love, and parenting by someone who had something to say on the subject. Big Russ and Me by the late Tim Russert is an excellent start. So please join me in the rebirth of Being Bookish, our on-line bookclub featuring Catholic authors and Catholic concerns. Each month we will be featuring a different book and discussion. Find Big Russ and Me and join the conversation this April.

This week in Small Stuff

It's that time again, where we share our small successes for the week.

1. The Dishwasher. The oldest and I made a game plan last week of all the spring cleaning that must be accomplished before the craziness of Holy Week and first on the list was "The Dishwasher." It has decided to take spring break and failed to notify our very busy family. So I called a repairman, he actually came, and is in the process of fixing it. Hurray!

2. Muffins. I made time to bake pumpkin muffins with one of the best upcoming chefs under four years old yesterday.

3. The Swallower. The littlest one seems to have trouble with his "swallower." He just wasn't eating any of the baby food that I was making for him. It was the same recipes that I used for his sister and I know that they tasted good because I tasted them, yet he wouldn't eat. Then, I realized he needed foods that were a smoother consistency. Since that revelation, he eats his food every time.

Shoes, Shoes, & More Shoes!

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last blog..."

Every Sunday night, my parents come over for dinner. They enjoy spending time with the kids and staying on top of all the family news. (On Monday's we have dinner with my husband's parents. I know...it can be family overload sometimes, but we love them.)

This Sunday my mother brought over ravioli and a sleeve of rolls. Delicious! So after all the excitement had died down and the littlest one was on his way to dreamland, I turned around to see my oldest with my shoe stuffed with bread from dinner. Shocked, I said, "Why is there bread in my shoe?" To which she replied, "I was only trying to keep it all together."

What do you say after that? I told her that I understood, but that Mommy's shoe was not the best idea. She removed all the bread and put it in the trash. While I was helping her do that, the dog decided to partake in the crumbs that were left behind in the shoe, licking the interior of the shoe clean.

Struggling to save my shoe, I shooed the dog away and turned to my husband, trying to hold back the laughter, I said, "Your going to have to disinfect that."

And the dog licked her lips in satisfaction,
the oldest moved on to another task,
and my husband and I lost our battle with composure and laughed ourselves silly.

Dream Loud

When the stars aline, once in a great while, the children are supposed to have an overlap of about 45 minutes in the afternoon when they are both napping. Ah, thank Jesus. Well, today was one of those golorious moments.

Before I but the oldest down, she is reminded that her little sibling is trying hard to stay asleep. We have a saying, "No thumping, no bumping, no taking, no dancing, no jumping, no singing, no nothing." It's silly, but it works. Today, at the end of the little poem she says, "but I can dream, right?" I said, "Yes, you can dream. Dream loud!" She loved that and I got to enjoy 45 minutes of peace.

Do we dream loud? As adults with many responsiblities, we are often entrenched in day to day routines. Do we give ourselves time to pray about our dreams? Not the dreams we have in our sleep, but our hopes and wishes for the future? Do we give ourselves the opportunity to think about our dreams for the world? How can we be used by God to make dreams come true for others?

Being Good Listeners

So for a three year old listening can be a really challenging task. They can speak in sentences and add inflection and slang, mimicking others they like, but physically they really cannot understand direction or explanation when there is more than 5-7 words used as at time. They start to tune you out and get lost in all those words.

This Lent my husband and I are trying extra hard to use short and more meaningful direction. And the three year old is being reminded of her listening needs as well. Together the goal is to encourage greater understanding and respect for one another and God. We sit and read from the Children's Bible so that she can understand the importance of listening to the Word of God as well as Mommy and Daddy's words.

But sometimes we aren't very good listeners either. Today, on the way to my littlest one's routine check-up we passed an accident that was being attended by firefighters, rescue personnel, and police. Everyone seemed to be physically well, but there was a small child involved. The ironic part was that this was the same exact spot that my family was in a similar accident one and half years ago. Exact spot!

I was pregnant for the little one at the time and it is only through the Grace of God that I held on to him. The car was totalled. Our oldest was shaken and had nightmares for awhile. After spending an evening in the emergency room of our local hospital, we all emerged bruised and sore, but very grateful to have each other. Seeing all those people today, going through the same anxiety, as we were driving our healthy children to the doctor for a routine check-up, I began to get the feeling that God was trying to tell me in no uncertain terms that I was blessed. To trust in Him and pray for those in this accident.

It can be so hard to hear God through all the everyday noise. When are we good listeners?

The Small Stuff

To be a successful parent sometimes we have to see the small success everyday and have faith that they will someday add up to a larger success for our family. Not an easy task if you ask me. It takes a special person to take this journey. And I admit that sometimes the future can seem pretty bleak for me. That's when I know that I need a "Mommy Moment" to regroup and pray for help, strength, and guidance to get through the next hour, and then the next, and then the next. These moments usually come when I've locked myself in the bathroom with the youngest one rolling his way through the living room and spitting up as he goes, and the oldest one beating down the bathroom door wanting to know when I'm coming out because she would like a snack. Comical though it is, no matter how small, sometimes we need to be reminded of our success.

1. I successfully got my husband and our oldest off to school on time, happy, well-fed, and ready to enjoy the day

2. I successfully made a hot lunch for the family without being late picking up the oldest from school and tending to all the other needs of the morning.

3. I successfully got the little one down for an afternoon nap so that I could write this blog

Thank God for the ability to see success.

Lenten Links

Each year I dread Lent.

Not because it's the season of sacrifice, but because I loose my husband each Lent to the hundreds of activities that he has at work. So, each year, I make a pledge..."I will not dread this Lent. I will do my best to make it a meaningful Lent, full of prayer and self-reflection. And each activity that my husband attends is one less activity that stands in the way of actually having a conversation with him."

But the truth is that often, I get bogged down in the day to day grind and the build-up to Easter that I have very little time to focus on a meangingful Lent. I'm just trying to survive so that my husband can come home in the afternoon on Easter Sunday to a house full of happy family and friends and lots of good food. No easy task.

But this year is a little different. Our oldest is getting to the age where Lent can really begin to be a meaningful season and I began to think of ways that she could learn the joy of Lent. Years ago, when Regan ruled the world and hair defied gravity in unusual ways, a nun at school made us complete something I call "Lenten Links." It was a purple paper chain with forty links for each student. Every link had an instruction written inside for the student to undertake with their caregivers at home. The idea was to remove a link each day of Lent as a visual understanding of Lent while encouraging giving, praying, or even sacrifice . As a kid, I loved this project and looking back it was one of the first times I began to understand Lent.

So you guessed it. We made "Lenten Links" this year. With instructions to "Pray for someone you love," or "Draw a picture of Lent." She loves it! We are focusing on being better listeners, helpers, and sharers with our Links this year. Thank you, Sister Virginia.

P.S. Stay tunned for updates on Being Bookish. The adventure starts again.