Being Mom

I don't know where to begin...

2010-12-05T08:34:00.000-08:00

You'll never believe what happened to us!

In December of 2009, our 4-year-old was suffering from joint pain and swelling. It was so intense that she was unable to walk at times. At first, doctors diagnosed her with Juvenile Psoriatic Arthritis.

While completing the necessary testing for diagnosis and treatment of arthritis, doctors found her to indeed have Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). On March 19th, 2010, she began her first chemotherapy treatments. She has endured multiple spinal taps, bone marrow biopsies, blood transfusions, and side effects due to treatment, but, through it all, she has a positive attitude. On April 19th, 2010, our Princess achieved remission. She will continue to face demanding chemotherapy for the next 2 years.

So, I've been absent for a bit and have just now started to surface slowly from the depths of cancer. We don't know that the future will bring us, but we are very hopeful with God's grace that our Princess will journey through this challenge well. Her type of ALL has a 90% survival rate and she is responding well to treatment. We are all not without scaring from this tremendous disease and continue to face challenges socially, emotionally, and physically.

Recently, in an attempt to find comfort, I have started another blog titled "Orange and Gold" after the two colors used to denote Childhood Cancer and Leukemia. We hope that you give it a try at http://ouralljourney.blogspot.com/, we would love to have you. For now, I will try and post when I can, but mainly focus on our princess at her caringbridge page.

We are thankful for every day we have with our Princess and pray for a total recovery.

Latest Project

2009-11-24T10:21:00.001-08:00

Weeks ago, the oldest one comes home from school with what seems like the Webster's dictionary full of papers. It was all fliers, notes, letters, updates, and homework. While going through it I noticed that the annual Giving Tree was set up outside the principal's office. It was to be filled with warm hats, mittens, and scarves for children.

I told the oldest that I would knit her a hat that she could put on the tree. She protested. She stated that a hat would simply not be enough. I would have to make a scarf and mittens as well. "Well, just a hat won't keep them warm enough."

After some careful thought of the colors that she wanted to use, we sat down and made them. She helped knit the scarf in her own way and designed most of it.

She placed it on the tree today.

The Day

2009-11-20T06:07:00.000-08:00

On the phone during dinner preparation with Husband who will be working late:

Wife: (with frustration) They just won't give me a minute today. They seem to need me for everything.

Husband: Um,hmm.

Wife: (still frustrated) The oldest one had naughty spot today for refusing to help clean up toys.

Husband: Um, hmm.

Wife: (frustrated and disappointed that Husband is working late again) Yummy dinner tonight. How's your day been going?

Husband: Well, the toilet backed up in the Parish Center, and there was a geyser of waste that went everywhere. We had to call a professional cleaning service to clean it up. They said that we cannot use the Parish Center for a week to ten days now because the air quality is so poor.

Wife: You win!

"Movin' on Up"

2009-11-14T08:24:00.001-08:00

He's walking! Yes, that's right, as of yesterday, my boy is walking. He's not exactly a track star (yet), but he took two whole steps without assistance. I was so proud for him.

So this morning I began quizzing my husband, "Do you remember the date when the oldest walked? Crawled? When the youngest crawled, huh, huh. huh?" Of course he didn't. Because only passionate mama's remember every tooth, every rash, every step.

This means that our youngest is growing up. (Tear.)

Be positive

2009-09-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

Every week we do so many important and meaningful things, but we never spend the time reflecting on the positive. Rather we dwell on the negative and find imperfection everywhere.

Well, I'm going to make a renewed effort to dwell on the positive, something that can be a challenge for me.

The things that I did well this week:

1. Went to Home Depot and purchased correct baseboard for my daughters room, solo.

2. Sent out the invitations for my daughter's birthday party, via email.

3. Brought the youngest to the doctor for a routine check-up with little incident, solo, again.

It feels good to be empowered by the situations in life that might be a little out of the comfort zone. A big orange building with evaporating salespeople and seasoned construction professionals did not stop a 4 foot 10 inch woman from walking out with a three foot baseboard heater with confidence. But I also purchased new tulip bulbs, so I guess it wasn't as masculine a trip as possible.

Agustin

2009-09-23T15:43:00.000-07:00

The first virus of this school year will be named Agustin, after a dear priest my husband and I remember from our childhood parish. It is still confusing. It seems to only cause head congestion with little or no runny noses. A slight temperature, but as of yet, no cough, no stomach upset, or weird rash.

Agustin has only hit the oldest. We are trying to keep the youngest away from her grasp so that he can get his one year check up tomorrow, complete with shots! We will have to split shift tomorrow, which I am not crazy about when one of the kids has shots.

I really don't like viruses.

Birthday invitations

2009-09-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

I thought that I would try and email my oldest one's birthday invitations instead of physically sending them this year. It's greener, it's easier, and it's cheaper.

But apparently, when one does this you have to take into account the many different operating systems that people have. I have had to send this simple invite as a publisher file, a works file, a pdf file, and a jpeg in the hopes that someone would be able to open it up!

If this doesn't work out we may be having a princess party with the dogs.

Split-Shift Wednesdays

2009-09-16T11:53:00.000-07:00

Wednesday's are one of those complicated days in our house. My husband works a full day and the oldest has to come to and from school (which is an hour away) while he is at work. So, to make the schedule less intense, my husband brings the oldest in and I pick her up so that he can get some work done. But some how, it looks easier on paper than it actually is.

And today the youngest had to come along for the ride. So that meant two straight hours in a car seat. Yuk! Needless to say, he was overjoyed to move around after lunch. All Wednesday's will not look like this.

P.S. Ballet class went well for the oldest, but left a little to be desired for mom. And dinner was very good.

First Day of School

2009-09-14T11:11:00.000-07:00

Well, before we knew it the first day of school was upon us today. The summer flew by in a hurried frenzy. After our late blooming and unwelcome virus, George, blew over in late June, it was time to start enjoying the summer, and one another, free of sickness. But the weather didn't get the memo. July was wet, but we made the best of it, trying to do all the things that we wanted before summer turned to fall. August was met with a new nephew and the world's strangest vacation. And then, there it was, the first day of school, full of excitement and comfort. The same classroom, same toys, same teachers, and some of the same friends. Some new friends, new things to learn, new adventures, and new projects. We had a good morning.

This afternoon will be a new adventure:

For our oldest: ballet class
For our youngest: cooking dinner with daddy.
(This could go very badly.)

It's great to be back!

George

2009-05-27T13:39:00.000-07:00

So, apparently there is no cold and flu seaon in our house; it's just all the time. The oldest one's fever lasted over a week. She was so wiped out after it finally passed. We had one healthy week, in which everything else became a challenge, and then we were back to fever-town. Everyone except the husband was marred by the cold/fever virus, even me. Five days after the latest installment of sickness started we are finally seeing the light of day.

I think I am going to start naming the germs like hurricanes. I think we'll call this one "George."

Sickness

2009-05-12T08:21:00.001-07:00

To be sick, or not to be sick. That is the question.

The oldest is going for her second fever in one month. Good times. But Tylenol seems to be working its magic and she is loving sitting on the couch and watching as much PBS as she likes. Hopefully, the merry-go-round will end soon and we can get off the ride of never ending sickness.

In the mean time, I have concerned grandmothers, godmothers, and mothers praying that someday soon we will surface for a fun spring!

Mother's Day

2009-05-09T17:36:00.000-07:00

I imagine that it is no accident that Mother's Day falls squarely in the month of May, the month dedicated to Our Lady. So I invite everyone to say an extra Hail Mary tomorrow for a special lady in your life.

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers, grandmothers, godmothers, great-grandmothers, aunts, and all those ladies in our lives that have been like a mother to us.

Mommy Moment

2009-05-08T15:56:00.000-07:00

Today was a gift.

The husband took both children shopping for Mother's Day. I needed some mommy time after the oldest ate toothpaste and painted the bathroom with it, and the youngest had a six hour aversion to napping yesterday. I was minutes away from having blood vessels burst in my brain. The husband was warned.

I slept in, I showered, and spent the morning at the library. For me, that's heaven. (And the husband is in the middle of cleaning the kitchen.) I couldn't ask for a more calming day.

The Small Stuff

2009-05-07T12:13:00.000-07:00

1. The Big 3-0!: The husband is turning thirty. It may seem like small change to some, but to us it's a big deal. This calls for a celebration! So this week I booked a hall and we are going to greet thirty with enthusiasm.

2. Brother/Sister time: I cannot take much credit for this one, but my husband and his sister finally had a chance to have some brother/sister time this week. A nice phone call goes a long way.

3. Playtime: The kids and I played for a whole half hour today uninterrupted.

Prayer in Chaos

2009-05-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

So, whatever happened to all that prayerful quiet time that I was supposed to try and cultivate? That was before the ear infection, the virus, and the strange sleep (or lack there of) schedule that screams that something else is array.

Well, until the kids are back on track there is always AmericanCatholic.org. I love this site. Have you been there or am I the last one to discover this secret? They have a minute mediation that suits my schedule, a daily catholic question, saint of the day, and a free e-newsletter. This site will soon be part of my online routine. Anything that helps me cultivate prayer in this busy world is appreciated.

Which brings me to an interesting question. Is their prayer in chaos? Our parish distributes "Bringing Home the Word," by St. Anthony Messenger Press in our weekly bulletin. It's full of positive commentary, suggestions for magnifying the church at home, and more. They suggested that each family take an hour a weekend as "pasture time," when we can make ourselves still to listen to God's message. Here's the thing: not going to happen with real little ones. But that's okay.

There is prayer in chaos and I'm not talking about those times when we invoke prayer as we lose our patience ("Lord, Give Me Strength!"). Seeing children play and explore, sing and scream, dance with shear delight is prayer. A wise person once told me that children are God's gift to a marriage, and your marriage is your gift to your children. So what better way to honor God's gift than to encourage delight in our children as we live a prayer to God.

The Power of Pink

2009-05-05T12:37:00.000-07:00

Monday, 4/27: Fever rising. Little one sees doctor. Nothing abnormal found.

Tuesday, 4/28 5AM: Fever 104.4. Call doctor. Ready to go to emergency room. Doctor says not so fast, try a cool bath and Motrin.

Still Tuesday, 4/28 4PM: Fever 104.6. No change. Doctor says go to ER. Panicked parents.

Still Tuesday, 4/28 7:30 PM: Fever 103.6. Emergency room doctor's diagnosis: ear infection. Lots of pink medicine will save the day. Parents take a deep breath and thank God.

Wednesday, 4/29 7PM: Everyone's fever breaks. Relief.

What a difference a week makes! Having a sick kid can send a parent through the roof with worry. It's no picnic for the sick child either. It seems that the littlest one has my knack for high fevers. Will buy stockpile of Tylenol. Life is such a miracle, but so fragile. With Mother's Day right around the corner, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful and healthy family, now.

While I was away tending to the sick and fancy-free, there has been much concern over the newly discovered H1N1 virus. More germs than my Lysol can handle! Thank God children are washable.

Unsolicited advice: As soon as the kids come home from a public place or close contact with other children, I wash their hands. It wouldn't hurt to change their clothes either. Some germs can last hours even days on surfaces. And above all, I encourage them to never touch their eyes or nose unless they have just washed their hands. Most germs enter the body through the eyes and nose, not the mouth. This is one of those times when we can encourage them not to share. Have them use their elbow when they sneeze. Good for all germs, not just H1N1.

For now, I'm not panicked. I have lots of pink medicine to handle my current crisis.

Chaos Reigns

2009-04-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

Like the calm before the storm, last week's beautiful days only led to chaos.

It seems that the oldest one's stuffy nose has led to a fever and a bad cold. The youngest one contracted it as well and has had a sudden aversion to sleeping. This has not helped anyone in the house. He saw the doctor and, as usual, there is nothing that they can do for a low-grade fever and an runny nose. And to top it all off, the mama bird has contracted it, too. Yes, I also have a fever and all the cold symptoms.

So the book discussion group will be, yet again, postponed. It will be even better when I'm off the Tylenol.

Beautiful Days

2009-04-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

So, who ordered the beautiful weather?

It's gorgeous around here today, and after the winter that we have had, we could sure use some more days like today. And right on schedule the oldest one is not feeling well. It's probably the beginning of seasonal allergies for her, but until we know for sure, she is on the couch resting with Benadryl.

Today is also Confirmation for our young men and women in our parish. Too long of a mass for me to bring the gang, so we stick around the nest. Confirmation always makes me cry anyway. It's probably just me, but I think that confirmation is such a joyful event that before I know it, buckets of tears are streaming down my face.

The youngest has kept me moving with the joys of never-ending teething, so this week's installment of the book discussion on Bug Russ & Me will be postponed till tomorrow.

Pray that an unfortunate accident does not befall one of the numerous ATV riders that keep driving their toys up and down our road while I toil at the hope that sleep will overcome a teething 9 month old.

Mommy Meltdown

2009-04-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

And now for the positive:

1. The oldest has taken numerous outings in underwear and is really potty training.

2. Organized a fun family dinner party with an old friend.

3. Made chocolate chip cookies for the oldest one's class at school.

And now for the not-so-positive:

Alright, so I admit it. I had a mommy meltdown yesterday. Considering that I only have one or two of these a year, it's a big deal. And it all started with a small, but suprising oven fire. I forgot to put away left over chicken and then started the broiler. Lots of smoke, slightly scared older one, and one very stressed mommy.

Sometimes we just have to admit that there has to be a family restructuring before we can move on. It was obvious to me that I had so many things on my mind that I was forgetting things. Forgetting the chicken probably doesn't seem like that big of deal, but it was just the straw that broke mommy camel's back.

As "Sacrament Season" appraches, the hubby is under strict instruction to pull a bit more weight around the house. The oldest must help with her responsibilities. And the littlest one needs to slow down the teething. Seven teeth at nine months.

Dr. Mom's Prescription: More rest, more praying, more quiet time, and more mommy time.

Earth Day

2009-04-22T12:54:00.000-07:00

Earth day. A day designed to encourage people to care for the planet. We are asked to nurture and care for others and everything that God has provided. It is always a step in the right direction when we listen and respond to the needs of others: person or planet.

In our home, we recycle, use reusable bags when we shop, we installed CFL's and have fuel efficient cars. We buy local foods and use reusable bottles for our water on trips. We do as much as we are able, but it still seems to me like the news is getting this false impression that people are still not doing enough. Millions recycle and have been since the early '90's. CFL's were economic long before the Green movement took hold.

The real solutions to these global issues lie in the hands of lawmakers. People want to see more done. Progress, please. Do not wait till gas is $4.00 a gallon before you make a fuel efficient family car that can handle a real winter. I cannot put a wind turbine in my backyard, nor can I afford solar panels. Until a music director can make zillions of dollars, this is it. I pray that someday this issue will be a distant memory and all people will care for what God has provided.

What do you and your family do for Earth Day?

Celebrating Easter

2009-04-21T12:37:00.000-07:00

After coming off a 40 day season like Lent, which can be emotionally exhausting, who wants to dive into a 50 day season filled with its own high's and low's? Not me. At least, that is what I used to say.

The husband and the whole family go through so much stress during Lent and now it's spring. There's so much spring cleaning to get done, the kid's want to get out, and who could forget having some fun after all the craziness. But I did not anticipate the oldest child.

She loved the Lenten Links that we did as a family. She wanted to know what season was next and what we were going to do for it. The mother's internal dialogue went something like this, "You have got to be kidding me! I guess the Links worked...oh dear, she makes a point...what should we do for the next season?"

Thank goodness for Celebrate Easter's 50 Days by The Word Among Us. There are some really great ideas and suggestions on how to celebrate the Easter season without a great deal of stress or preparation. Check it out and if your family has a special way of celebrating the Easter season please share.

Being Bookish

2009-04-18T07:13:00.000-07:00

As children, it can be difficult to truly appreciate and understand the life of a parent. And that's okay. Ideally God did not design children to be weighed down with the pressures of adulthood. The hope and joy is when children grow into adults, and have children of their own, that they begin to unfold the love and mystery of parenthood. The late Tim Russert makes a valiant effort to understand and appreciate the life that his father, Big Russ, lived, and provided, for his children in Big Russ & Me, Father and Son: Lessons of Life. A wonderful collection of thoughts, feelings, and lessons for parents and children.

In the first seven chapters there are many themes: food, respect, faith, and many more. Russert seems to allow his feelings to flow easily from page to page, but as we learn, it was not easy for Big Russ to communicate his feelings. Do we make the effort to communicate our feelings to others and especially God? Do we take the time to listen? How do you and your family communicate feelings?

Big Russ seems to have made a strong impression on young Russ in the way he taught young Russ to respect others, an important concept that is often lost in modern parenting. Respecting your family by thinking progressively, being grateful, and caring for one another. Respecting others by giving strong first impressions, being honest and hardworking, and treating others as you would want to be treated. How do we model respect? Do we take care of our aging parents? Do we look others in the eye when they speak to us?

Faith played a large role in Russet's life and he spoke candidly about being an altar boy and going to Catholic school. Many changes were instituted after Vacatian II and Russert talks about the adjustments in his life. Faith was everywhere for him, at home, school, and at church. How do we already show our faith? How can we model our faith even more?

Family. It's a challenge, but one worth undertaking. Russert talked openly about the importance of sharing meals together, doing homework at the kitchen table, going to baseball games, and spending time with each other. We all try to do this in different ways. Share how your family loves to spend their time together.

I hope everyone keeps reading the book and if you haven't, borrow a copy soon. Please feel free to comment even if you haven't read the book. It's worth the journey.

The Ring of Fire

2009-04-17T14:52:00.000-07:00

Ever have that kind of a week where the climate of your household changes at the drop of a hat? One minute things are going well, and the next well, let's just say it's similar to a volcano eruption.

The littlest one is the proud owner of five teeth and is in the vigorous process of acquiring more. The oldest is in the process of mastering potty training and is prone to emotional upheavals if things do not "go" as planned. Staying calm in the face of adversity is the ultimate test of patience of which this week I have failed on occasion. Needless to say, I have had a great deal of "Lord, give me strength" moments. It's a domino effect. One thing starts to go wrong and the next thing you know, you are standing in a ring of fire with explosions all around you.

I think this deserves a pint of chocolate ice cream, my favorite pajamas, and a foot rub. Oh,husband, where for art thou husband?

Big Russ & Me

2009-04-15T15:12:00.000-07:00

Okay everyone, let's get started on the first book of the year in the Being Bookish online bookclub.

The first book is the ever popular Big Russ & Me by the late Tim Russert. When Being Bookish was first started my husband had just finished Big Russ & Me after having it sit on the shelf for a couple of years. We both raved about it and I thought it would make a great start to Being Bookish. But nearly a year ago, Tim Russert suddenly passed on to God, making it even more important that we examine the work left behind by this wonderful man, father, and Catholic. So pick up a copy and join the discussion.

Here is a list of when the discussions will take place:

April 18: The first discussion questions will be posted on chapters 1-7
April 25: The second set of questions on 8-14
May 2: The last set of questions on 15-the Epilogue

There will be posted questions and discussions right on this blog so no navigation issues will occur. Let's get started.

'Tis the Season

2009-04-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter, Everyone!

Has anyone else noticed how much easier it is to put together a boy's Easter outfit than a girls Easter outfit?

Oh, my heavens! The hair clips, the tights, the shoes, the dress coat, the sweater to wear under the dress coat because Easter can be anywhere between 20-60 degrees here in the great Northeast, the undergarments, and the most important element: the dress.

There is always much discussion over the dress. Her father picks one, I pick one, and she points out a couple she likes. We decide which three are acceptable and she gets to choose. It is almost never one that her father or I picked. In our house there is a more comfortable back-up dress because one cannot hunt for eggs, eat shrimp, and open Easter baskets in such a beautiful yet uncomfortable garment as an Easter dress. But she insists that the idea of a dress must stay firm or else it might just not be a holiday.

The boy: shirt, pants, sweater vest, jacket, socks, shoes (and a diaper). Oh, they were both beautiful, as God intended. Proud mommy moment.

I'm geared up and ready for a joyfilled Easter season. The intensity of Lent is always inspiring at the start and challenging toward the end. Now, during the Easter season, we celebrate life. How do you celebrate life and the Easter season in your home?

Delegate!

2009-04-07T13:03:00.000-07:00

I have made a decision.

There will be more teamwork around the house!

My husband is busier than a cat scratchin', and in the past I have been delibrate in assigning daily household chores for him to accomplish that wouldn't be overwhelming. The oldest child was still pretty small so I would assign her age appropriate tasks so that she could feel satisfied.

But now the oldest isn't too small for most chores with parental assistance and the husband needs to set an example of teamwork. Now, I assign tasks that daddy and the oldest can do together in addition to the daily grind.

My plan is simple. If we all live in the house, and enjoy the comforts of the house, then we all help with the house. Everyone learns responsibility, a bit of appreciation (which can go a long way), and share in an experience that usually results in a stronger family bond. We are not talking about re-grouting the bathroom (which does need to be done), more like setting the table.

If I was sick or had to leave the house for an emergency who would know how this household keeps afloat? By creating opportunities for the children and my husband to learn I create a set of living "sub-plans." And it takes a bit of stress from my life.

So far the oldest generally feels like she is contributing in a more obvious way. The husband is taking the helm of certain household chores and I have 5 minutes to write a blog as I brace for Holy Week.

Ah, Spring!

2009-04-01T07:47:00.000-07:00

It's Spring at our house.

Yes, it's still not much above 45 outside and there is still frost on the car windshield in the morning, but we have declared spring!

The snow suits are put away. We have outgrown our snow boots and we have embraced the mud.

Ah, Spring!

Being Prayerful

2009-03-31T16:39:00.000-07:00

Confession: Prayer

Let's face it. We are all probably guilty of not praying as much as we would like, or hope, or need. I'm guilty as charged. Prayer is part of the very foundation of our relationship with God, and it always gets put to the back burner.

Look at all the the things that we have to do in the day: getting meals together, getting the kids ready, getting yourself and spouse ready, activities, school, driving all over the earth, shopping, errands, animal chores (love those), cleaning (who could forget cleaning), and bed (ah, sweet relief). After that day who wouldn't pass out in satisfaction that the ride has come to a full and complete stop?

But something happened today that made me think. I love it when that happens.

I was flipping through the channels on the television this afternoon, finding something appropriate for a minute as I tried to make the room stop spinning, when I came upon Sister Lucy. My oldest was busy tearing the room apart when she stopped everything to watch Sister Lucy. Glued. The child dropped everything and was glued!!! Sister Lucy talked a great deal to a puppet named Clare about prayer. (Which also happens to be a major topic in our household with our oldest.) She mentioned that we have to live our life as a prayer, as a living prayer.

What a challenge! What a joy! To live your life as a prayer to God. Imagine that for a moment because I am still having trouble wrapping my mind around it. Not just praying more often, but continually through your life. Think of doing all those day to day things: errands, activities, school, in prayer to God. It certainly calms my stress level a bit. And what a modeling opportunity.

Later, the room stopped spinning, Clare and Sister Lucy said good-bye, and the oldest clamored for more.

Why Are We Learning This?

2009-03-27T07:20:00.000-07:00

Every parent goes through moments when they are faced with educational challenges with their children. What should I teach them? When is it time to learn something new? How should I teach them? These are all common and perfectly normal questions. In fact, I would say that if you aren't asking yourself these questions you may be doing your children a disservice.

Every child is different and requires specific attention to their interests and learning styles. For our oldest we have choosen a Catholic School. It best fits her needs right now. But for some children this may not be the best option. We try and take it year by year. Similar to Individual Educational Plan evaluations in public schools, we re-evaluate her academic, spiritual, social, and emotional needs each spring. We model self-evaluation at home and try to show how love of learning and the continuation of learning throughout life is the healthiest option. When we show how we use the information that children learn, then there are less questions about why they are learning certain concepts as they get older. It's all in the application of Faith and knowledge.

Catholic education whether at home or in a classroom setting is peaceful, loving, nuturing, and academically challeging. It helped me gain a greater understanding of my Faith, not as a subject to be taken during the school day or on Sunday mornings, but as a foundation on which we build our lives. There is no equivalent. If the goal is to raise children that are peaceful, nuturing, and faithfilled then we, as parents, have to look carefully at the educational methods that we use to convey those ideals.

How do you continue your education? How do you foster Catholic education in others?

The Small Stuff

2009-03-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

Last night, my husband and I were feeling quite overwhelmed at the amount of responsibilities that we have before, during, and after the Easter season. The details are suffocating. While we were sitting there being daunted by the shear size of the tasks that lay before us, we realized that it was time to stop spending our time feeling sorry for ourselves and start working at accomplishing our tasks. We had some small victories and it felt really good to know that we had achieved success no matter how small.

This week, there were some important successes.

1.Brownies. I made Coffee Almond Brownies for the choir tonight. They needed something to take the performance edge off and recommit to a great Easter.

2.Potty Victory. The oldest used the potty at school successfully and the potty outside the house again. Yeah!

3.Emails. I have been really unable to email our friends that live far away. This week I was able to get started on catching up.

Sometimes all we have are the small successes, but it feels really good to remind yourself how much you have accomplished.

Quick reminder to all those Being Bookish members out there: Get a copy of Big Russ and Me soon. We begin discussions in 1 week.

Scrambled Eggs

2009-03-24T13:03:00.000-07:00

Ever have so many thoughts running through your head at the same time that the English language just doesn't lend itself to communicate all of them? My brain is full of so many things it is like scrambled eggs up there today.

So let's start with the Thank You's:

Thank you to the oldest for taking a nice nap today.

Thank you to the youngest for not being too cranky with your teething to play with me today. (I really liked that.)

Thank you to the car for not taking a long vacation weekend and getting us to and from where we needed to be today.

Requests:

That the youngest sleep for a change tonight.

That the oldest sleep through the whole night and not be too disturbed by the little one if he wakes up (which he won't because I just asked nicely).

That the husband find some vast store of patience so I can loose mine.

That the dogs eat only their food tonight and please stop running through the mud.

Prayers:

For Life: that all life be blessed and know it is intentional and celebrated.

For Guidance: that our family can receive divine guidance when the oldest uses ketchup as a painting medium and my shirt is covered in carrot.

For Love & Hope: that we may give love and hope.

Still feels like scrambled eggs up there.

Locating Trust

2009-03-21T05:48:00.000-07:00

The oldest has a shoe in either hand and is invading the kitchen.

"No, no. no," said the father very quickly as he observed the strange behavior.

The oldest began to stutter a bit and used every ounce of concentration to say something quickly before the father would put a stop to this new adventure. "But I'm trying to locate them," she said as we looked down to notice that she had sorted all the shoes downstairs in the kitchen in a very nice semi-circle.

What was the father to do? He laughted and let her "locate" till her hearts content and then helped her put them all away when the game was over.

Life is funny. One minute you are having a pleasant conversation with your husband and the next thing you know you have a prentend bowling alley of shoes in your kitchen. But sometimes we have to let go, stop trying to control everything and trust. Trust ourselves, trust our spouses, trust God.

Easy to say. A lifetime challenge to practice.

The Small Stuff

2009-03-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

Webster's Dictionary defines success in three ways: (a) a degree or measure of succeeding (b) favorable or desired outcome (c) the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.

Everyday we are bombarded with images of wealth and granduer and told that this is what we should want. Popular culture perpetuates this theory with television shows and songs that are made to influence our thinking. Recently, tragically, the ecomony has forced many people out of work and those popular images seem more out of reach then ever. People are turning inward and helping one another, learning how to live on less, and expecting more from the simple pleasures in life. There's no fancy camp for the kids this summer, no trips to Africa, no new cars, no latest fashions, just learning how to live better on less.

Does this mean that people are less successful simply because they do not have as many things as they would like?

So often as parents, we cannot always see the favorable outcome or the desired success because we are caught up in the day to day routine of our lives. But there is success. Small though it is sometimes, out kids won't care if they go to Africa, but if their parents played with them. I know that I am preaching to the choir, but I often struggle with the reality of not being about to provide all the things that some parents can to their children because my husband and I choose a more meaningful path. Are we less succeessful?

Today's Successes:

1. The Dishwasher. Fixed and doing the job of ten people right now.

2. The Classmate. My oldest finally spoke up for herself and told her teacher, after working with her for 7 months, when a classmate pushed her today. Yeah!

3. Potty Victory. My oldest had a potty victory outside the house today. Yeah!

A pretty successful day in my opinion. What are your successes?

Ok, Let's Talk About It.

2009-03-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

Breastfeeding.

There has been some buzz in the blogosphere recently about the toll that breastfeeding takes on mothers. (Read the article.) Some women with very loud thoughts feel that breastfeeding chains them to their baby so that they can never get a moments peace. While others replied that a mother's job is to nurture and it should not feel like slavery if you really take it seriously.

Here's my reality:

We have a decent risk of diabetes on both sides of our family and a severe risk of chronic asthma; breastfeeding was a must for our family. I never even really considered an alternative, but I wasn't going to enter into this new chapter in our family's life without a bit of research.

I read books, talked to other women in and out of my family for their take on breastfeeding, and most importantly, talked to my husband about what we should do together. We committed to the first six months of breastfeeding. We bought a pump before the baby was born. We purchased all the supplies: bags, breast pads, nursing bras, all of it. I was still working outside the home at that point and I was not going to let the baby have anything other than breast milk. I loved breastfeeding so much that I kept it up till our oldest was able to have whole milk. (Even though the last few months of my job did not like me breastfeeding.)

Pumping may not please many intense breastfeeding mothers, but it is a solution for those that work outside the home or those that would appreciate the freedom to complete necessary parts of the day without disturbing the baby's routine. It also allows the father and others to enjoy feeding in a way they would not have been able to with exclusive breast feeding. And we always have to keep in mind the real possibilty of an emergency or illness that may take the mother away from the baby for some time....frozen breast milk is the best.

Alright, so enough about the joys of pumping. The bottom line is that mothers and fathers have to do the research and judge for themselves what is the best for their family. Set reasonable goals for yourself and don't listen to all those people that get bothered by the fact that you have committed to a natural way of feeding your baby. I read once that 90% of new mothers leave the hospital or birthing center committed to breastfeeding, but find that it was too difficult; only 30% stay committed.

It's not easy. There's nothing about parenting that is easy, but if you can, do the research and consider breastfeeding. And let's not be offended when some of us choose a different path. Maybe, just maybe, it's a deeper issue than just breastfeeding.

Sounds of the House

2009-03-17T12:52:00.001-07:00

Here are some famous phrases from our house lately;

"I tried to write my name," as she pointed to the window. "What did you write on the window with?" asked her mother. "Cheese," said the three year-old.

"Look, Mom. I am conditioning it," said the three year-old as she smeared a tube of her brother's hydrocortosone cream all over her hair.

"When I'm naked I look like Eve!"

"Today was a birthday party at school, but there were no crowns or tiaras!"

"Hum...bkelec," said the little one as he spit up his afternoon snack.

"Woof!" went the dog who refused to stay outside and enjoy the few minutes of sunshine that we have had this winter.

"Why can I never find a towel?" said the husband this morning.

To the tune of "Living on a Prayer' by Bon Jovi "We're half way there. Whoa, livin' on a pear. Take my hand and we will make I swear. Whoa, livin' on a pear," sang the family at dinner as we remembered how mommy tried to coax the little one into eating his pears.

Stretch It Out

2009-03-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

Has anybody else noticed that even though the price of fuel has dropped since the climb last summer, the prices on food have remained high? Whoever does the shopping and cooking in your house has to be a miracle worker to make the same amount of money stretch to meet every one's needs. In my family, we have found that we just had to increase our budget to meet household needs. Not an easy thing to do with a limited income.

Here are some tips on how to keep that "green" working for you through the week so that we waste none and want none.

1. Have no real entree planned for a night? No meat in site and the fridge seems bare. How about vegetable soup? I bet you have onions, celery, and carrots, a good place to start for a great soup. Even if you don't have those veggies, any veggies will do. Throw some rice or pasta in it and it's delicious and nutritious.

2. Left over meatloaf or hamburgers? How about chili? Crumble up your meat and put together your favorite chili fixin's. Make sure to add the cumin and your family won't know what hit them.

3. No bread? When your out at the store always pick up a package of tortilla wraps. No bread, no problem. Use a wrap and fill it full of veggies, peanut butter and jelly, cold cuts, whatever.

4. Eggs. The miracle food. Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner, make a frittata with eggs, cheese, veggies, or herbs and you have a hit.

Of course, many of us, already know some of these tips, but new ones are always appreciated.

Taking A Look Back

2009-03-13T11:38:00.000-07:00

In search for inspiration for today's blog, I took a scroll back in time to some previous posts from last year. I read "God Shots" and determined that although I was in the throws of my first trimester with the littlest one, I was a much calmer person than I am now.

Time to stop, reflect, and pray on what allowed me to be more at peace then. Hormones? Maybe. But I would be willing to guess that it was just time. Time to write this blog, time to play more with the little one, time to work on my hobbies. It is completely understandable that I wouldn't have lots of time after a new baby to do all sorts of things, but now the littlest one isn't so new and it is time to have time.

Take this self-reflective journey with me. How have you changed over the last year? Good changes? Not so good changes? How can you bring yourself around so that you can live a more Spirited life?

Maybe this would be a good time to read a good book on life, love, and parenting by someone who had something to say on the subject. Big Russ and Me by the late Tim Russert is an excellent start. So please join me in the rebirth of Being Bookish, our on-line bookclub featuring Catholic authors and Catholic concerns. Each month we will be featuring a different book and discussion. Find Big Russ and Me and join the conversation this April.

This week in Small Stuff

2009-03-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

It's that time again, where we share our small successes for the week.

1. The Dishwasher. The oldest and I made a game plan last week of all the spring cleaning that must be accomplished before the craziness of Holy Week and first on the list was "The Dishwasher." It has decided to take spring break and failed to notify our very busy family. So I called a repairman, he actually came, and is in the process of fixing it. Hurray!

2. Muffins. I made time to bake pumpkin muffins with one of the best upcoming chefs under four years old yesterday.

3. The Swallower. The littlest one seems to have trouble with his "swallower." He just wasn't eating any of the baby food that I was making for him. It was the same recipes that I used for his sister and I know that they tasted good because I tasted them, yet he wouldn't eat. Then, I realized he needed foods that were a smoother consistency. Since that revelation, he eats his food every time.

Shoes, Shoes, & More Shoes!

2009-03-11T12:31:00.001-07:00

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last blog..."

Every Sunday night, my parents come over for dinner. They enjoy spending time with the kids and staying on top of all the family news. (On Monday's we have dinner with my husband's parents. I know...it can be family overload sometimes, but we love them.)

This Sunday my mother brought over ravioli and a sleeve of rolls. Delicious! So after all the excitement had died down and the littlest one was on his way to dreamland, I turned around to see my oldest with my shoe stuffed with bread from dinner. Shocked, I said, "Why is there bread in my shoe?" To which she replied, "I was only trying to keep it all together."

What do you say after that? I told her that I understood, but that Mommy's shoe was not the best idea. She removed all the bread and put it in the trash. While I was helping her do that, the dog decided to partake in the crumbs that were left behind in the shoe, licking the interior of the shoe clean.

Struggling to save my shoe, I shooed the dog away and turned to my husband, trying to hold back the laughter, I said, "Your going to have to disinfect that."

And the dog licked her lips in satisfaction,
the oldest moved on to another task,
and my husband and I lost our battle with composure and laughed ourselves silly.

Dream Loud

2009-03-07T17:29:00.000-08:00

When the stars aline, once in a great while, the children are supposed to have an overlap of about 45 minutes in the afternoon when they are both napping. Ah, thank Jesus. Well, today was one of those golorious moments.

Before I but the oldest down, she is reminded that her little sibling is trying hard to stay asleep. We have a saying, "No thumping, no bumping, no taking, no dancing, no jumping, no singing, no nothing." It's silly, but it works. Today, at the end of the little poem she says, "but I can dream, right?" I said, "Yes, you can dream. Dream loud!" She loved that and I got to enjoy 45 minutes of peace.

Do we dream loud? As adults with many responsiblities, we are often entrenched in day to day routines. Do we give ourselves time to pray about our dreams? Not the dreams we have in our sleep, but our hopes and wishes for the future? Do we give ourselves the opportunity to think about our dreams for the world? How can we be used by God to make dreams come true for others?

Being Good Listeners

2009-03-06T12:04:00.000-08:00

So for a three year old listening can be a really challenging task. They can speak in sentences and add inflection and slang, mimicking others they like, but physically they really cannot understand direction or explanation when there is more than 5-7 words used as at time. They start to tune you out and get lost in all those words.

This Lent my husband and I are trying extra hard to use short and more meaningful direction. And the three year old is being reminded of her listening needs as well. Together the goal is to encourage greater understanding and respect for one another and God. We sit and read from the Children's Bible so that she can understand the importance of listening to the Word of God as well as Mommy and Daddy's words.

But sometimes we aren't very good listeners either. Today, on the way to my littlest one's routine check-up we passed an accident that was being attended by firefighters, rescue personnel, and police. Everyone seemed to be physically well, but there was a small child involved. The ironic part was that this was the same exact spot that my family was in a similar accident one and half years ago. Exact spot!

I was pregnant for the little one at the time and it is only through the Grace of God that I held on to him. The car was totalled. Our oldest was shaken and had nightmares for awhile. After spending an evening in the emergency room of our local hospital, we all emerged bruised and sore, but very grateful to have each other. Seeing all those people today, going through the same anxiety, as we were driving our healthy children to the doctor for a routine check-up, I began to get the feeling that God was trying to tell me in no uncertain terms that I was blessed. To trust in Him and pray for those in this accident.

It can be so hard to hear God through all the everyday noise. When are we good listeners?

The Small Stuff

2009-03-05T12:50:00.000-08:00

To be a successful parent sometimes we have to see the small success everyday and have faith that they will someday add up to a larger success for our family. Not an easy task if you ask me. It takes a special person to take this journey. And I admit that sometimes the future can seem pretty bleak for me. That's when I know that I need a "Mommy Moment" to regroup and pray for help, strength, and guidance to get through the next hour, and then the next, and then the next. These moments usually come when I've locked myself in the bathroom with the youngest one rolling his way through the living room and spitting up as he goes, and the oldest one beating down the bathroom door wanting to know when I'm coming out because she would like a snack. Comical though it is, no matter how small, sometimes we need to be reminded of our success.

1. I successfully got my husband and our oldest off to school on time, happy, well-fed, and ready to enjoy the day

2. I successfully made a hot lunch for the family without being late picking up the oldest from school and tending to all the other needs of the morning.

3. I successfully got the little one down for an afternoon nap so that I could write this blog

Thank God for the ability to see success.

Lenten Links

2009-03-04T10:13:00.000-08:00

Each year I dread Lent.

Not because it's the season of sacrifice, but because I loose my husband each Lent to the hundreds of activities that he has at work. So, each year, I make a pledge..."I will not dread this Lent. I will do my best to make it a meaningful Lent, full of prayer and self-reflection. And each activity that my husband attends is one less activity that stands in the way of actually having a conversation with him."

But the truth is that often, I get bogged down in the day to day grind and the build-up to Easter that I have very little time to focus on a meangingful Lent. I'm just trying to survive so that my husband can come home in the afternoon on Easter Sunday to a house full of happy family and friends and lots of good food. No easy task.

But this year is a little different. Our oldest is getting to the age where Lent can really begin to be a meaningful season and I began to think of ways that she could learn the joy of Lent. Years ago, when Regan ruled the world and hair defied gravity in unusual ways, a nun at school made us complete something I call "Lenten Links." It was a purple paper chain with forty links for each student. Every link had an instruction written inside for the student to undertake with their caregivers at home. The idea was to remove a link each day of Lent as a visual understanding of Lent while encouraging giving, praying, or even sacrifice . As a kid, I loved this project and looking back it was one of the first times I began to understand Lent.

So you guessed it. We made "Lenten Links" this year. With instructions to "Pray for someone you love," or "Draw a picture of Lent." She loves it! We are focusing on being better listeners, helpers, and sharers with our Links this year. Thank you, Sister Virginia.

P.S. Stay tunned for updates on Being Bookish. The adventure starts again.

Oh Boy!

2008-11-25T08:36:00.000-08:00

After some unanticipanted time off, I am happily holding my sleeping four-month old in my arms and finally getting back to the blog.

Hi, everyone. I have missed blogging. Last winter was the winter from Pergatory. Everything that could have happened did and everything that couldn't happen did as well. We had every illness, every storm, and every problem that we could conceive.

But in late July, it was all worth it when my husband and I welcomed our littlest addition to the family. After a short, but difficult case of jaundice the littlest one is healthy and happy. There is so much to share it is hard to find a place to start. I suppose that is what time will bring. Keep you posted.

The Sandwich Generation

2008-02-19T14:29:00.003-08:00

It can be hard caring for an elderly parent and have young adult children and grandchildren. More mature adults can feel extremely torn between responsibilities toward their parent that gave them so much growing up, and the joy and obligations they feel as a grandparent and parent.

Psychologists call this the sandwich generation. They feel sandwiched between everyone's needs and never seem to be able to take to time to enjoy themselves. It can be more than difficult especially if you are an only child or have siblings that live far from an aging parent and you are left to sholder the responsibilities.

These adults have much stress.

Idea: If you don't already know someone in this situation, keep your ears open for someone who is. Pray for them. Ask them how they are doing. Take them out for lunch or bring them some cake. They need a break.

Favorite Games

2008-02-18T14:03:00.000-08:00

The new favorite game of the day is Hide & Seek. Not only do we hide ourselves or a parent, but we also hide stuffed animals, clothes, and anything else that we can get our hands on. We stand in the middle of the room. Put our hands over our eyes and count to ten as fast as humanly possible and sing, "Ready or not, here I come." We giggle and laugh our way through the finding process and then have to repeat it instantly.

I know I never had this much fun playing hide and seek as a child, but of course, I was an only child so I never had anyone to play with. My parents played occasionally, but for the most part they were always working on keeping the house spotless or the bills paid (how dare they!). Us, on the other hand, finally found the majority of the smell in the fridge, have a sink full of dishes, a pile of laundry (as usual), and a floor that must be vacuumed so we no longer walk on a layer of fur left from the dogs.

Nope, we do not have a spotless house. This drives my husband crazy. He much more prefers the pre-pregnant house when things were much better kept, but it will soon return again with patience. But for now, I play with my little one, I clean when I can, and give my husband pep-talks to keep him confident of a clean house in the future.

Because I will always remember a piece of advice that my wise great-grandmother told my mother once: Your children may not remember the clean sheets or the spotless floor, but they will remember if you did not have time with them.

Laundry Day

2008-02-16T07:23:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't love to fold? Yuck! I suppose it is satisfying to put everything in neat piles and then tucked away neat in drawers, but the truth is that almost never happens. Laundry, laundry everywhere. We barely get the laundry done before people are pulling things right out of the dryer to be worn immediately. But there is an effort to keep things neat and orderly. In college, both my husband and I made an effort to take a couple of uninterrupted hours to clean and fold clothes so that we could actually learn at college rather than doing laundry at 12 AM as most co-ed's. However, today, we cannot afford to take an uninterrupted morning to do only laundry.

But these are the days of organized chaos. If we have a couple of day’s change of clothes in the drawers, we are looking good. The in-laws have just learned that there will always be a pile of unfolded clothes that we try to chip at during the day. The little one has even learned to help bring mommy and daddy clothes off, "the mountain" as we call it, so that we can achieve the joy of folded clothes.

My grandmother used to spend her life doing laundry. I always remember her folding, ironing, washing clothes. She loved the idea of neat and orderly clothes. It does make a person feel better, but at the time, she stayed up to 2 AM starching shirts (that is so never going to happen). I suppose we will just have to live with a little chaos and enjoy the process.

Pie

2008-02-13T14:28:00.000-08:00

My family loves pie. We would rather have pie than cake most of the time. When we ask the little one what dessert she would like to have she always says pie. It can be better for you than cake if you watch the sugar and limit the saturated fat in the crust. Anyway, our special Valentine's Day dessert is a Mixed Berry Pie this year rather than sugar cookies full of frosting or something laden with fat.

Mixed Berry Pie
Uses a store bought crust or make your own and fill it with frozen mixed berries. (We like Wynman's mixed berries with no sugar. And we like to make our own crust so that we can use unsalted butter.) I add the juice of one fresh lemon, a teaspoon of cinnamon, and a 1/2 cup to 3/4 cup of white sugar, and a couple of tablespoons of flour so that the filling will thicken. I mix everything in a gallon sized storage bag and pour it into your crust. (No bowls. Who needs that?) Bake at 350 degrees for one hour. Tah-Dah! Beautiful Mixed Berry Pie in the middle of February.

Pie brings us so much joy. Share some dessert with someone you love.

And don't forget; Pie Day is March 14th. (Get it: 3.14)

Fun

2008-02-12T14:17:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but life can get all managed and scheduled up with activities for other people and we don't often spend time having real fun. Real fun. Remember that? Not worrying about feeding the dog, or whether the children have completely wrecked the house and tied up the babysitter.

Remember going out with your sweetheart or your friends because everyone just wanted to have fun? Remember when it wasn't scheduled? Well, I do and I have to say....that was a very different time. It wasn’t better, just different. We had different goals and concerns. Hopefully, we have met some of those goals and now have a whole new bowl full. I wouldn't trade my current concerns, but I still think we scheduled, familyholic, givers lack fun. So, during this particular ice storm tonight, I will make an effort to have more, and be more, fun.

Cabin fever can get the best of us or even just a stagnant schedule. Think about spicing it up. (Hey, Valentine's Day is coming!)

For the Kids:
- try a special dessert
- a new restaurant
- a fun craft project

Adults:
- date night
- trivia/board games
- beat them at a card game

Shrimp Box

2008-02-11T13:41:00.000-08:00

We've learned that in order for the little one to have a good time grocery shopping, she has to help us shop. She has her jobs: she picks the cucumbers, she chooses the bananas, and she bags the broccoli, and so on. She will also hold on to certain items for us as we shop. Well, today she has become very attached to a store brand box of storage bags. The box depicts a bag of shrimp. This has now become known as "Shrimp Box." She must hold on to it at all times. She plays a catch game with shrimp box and it dreaming about eating shrimp.

As crazy as it sounds, this is not out of the ordinary for our family. We have always taken the little one shopping and we have tried to have her be apart of the meal making process as possible. It is a conscious effort on our part to teach healthy eating habits and have her appreciate her heritage through food. (Let's face it; a large part of Italian culture is our food.) I grew up this way and as I came of age I noticed that I was different from others. I ate different food. I knew and embraced more of my heritage than others. I was healthier and I had a better relationship with my folks. (Everything always happened in the kitchen, especially a great deal of dialogue.)

So, although it can be nuts sometimes, having children apart of the cooking process, it can be beneficial. Cook with someone you love.

Communicating Duties

2008-02-10T14:05:00.000-08:00

Sorry that I have been neglecting my communicating duties, but I was busy being a mom. On Friday, we took the little one for a special lunch and a fun-filled afternoon at the local indoor children's play place. On Saturday, we spent our time outside making snowballs and sledding (I did not do the sledding) until our usual Saturday night church extravaganza. Since we have all been feeling better, we have been trying to spend time doing fun and enjoyable family activities. It makes us all feel better since we never know when the weather or my husband's schedule can be unpredictable.

Nice Thing That Happened Today: At 5:15 AM, when my husband rose to greet the day with snowy anticipation, the plow went through. The weather forecast was for 3 inches of snow. I thought, "Geez, the town never plows on a Sunday. This is great. My husband will get to work safely." And he did.

Sweetest Thing That Happened Today: At 7 AM, as the little one and I are watching "Signing Time," well, she's watching...I'm dozing. She turns to me and says, "I love you, Mommy Cloud."

Funniest Thing That Happened Today: At 8 AM, I turn on the local weather, after I'm really curious as why it is still snowing well after 3 inches. (Thinking to myself, "Did they change the forecast?") The weatherman tells me with certainty, and a map, that it is not snowing here and that it stopped much earlier. (It didn't stop snowing for another 2 hours.)

Strangest Thing That Happened Today: At 10 AM, my mother called. Let's just leave it at that.

P.S. I have noticed that the links for Being Bookish are not always working. I'll work on that.

The Best Plan

2008-02-07T07:59:00.000-08:00

I started my Ash Wednesday at 5:30AM as my husband got ready for his marathon day and I tried, in vain, to get a few more minutes sleep. But before I knew it the day was off and running. The little one missed her daddy so much, but some craft projects and a warm sandwich of "Potatoes and Eggs" made her feel better. We played games and ate some dinner a la Nonna. Later, her other set of grandparents came to give mommy a minute to breathe, just in time to find out that the road conditions had worsened so badly that my husband would be coming home early. The best laid plans.

Speaking of plans, I have 40 days. Forty days to get this family and this house ready for Easter. Not much time when you think about it. Preparation. Isn't that the point of Lent? It's time to better ourselves so that we are better able to receive Christ. And part of that preparation is improving our environment.

A dear friend of our family just lost her battle with cancer a week ago today. She was a pillar in our community and a lasting figure in my husband’s life. The town will never be the same. But her life was simple. She gardened, painted, and was a wonderful musician. She was neat, funny, and always concerned about living a natural life void of chemicals. She never had much and was satisfied with the simple pleasures in life. She was a role model to many people. And as we reflect on her life, we are reminded of the need to simplify. To give of ourselves and not expect payment. To prepare and simplify our minds to receive more than we can imagine.

Family History

2008-02-05T15:47:00.000-08:00

I don't know if it's the pregnancy, or the fact that my mother will be turning 60 this month, or the fact that I just received an email from my globe trotting cousin who has discovered more about my family then humanly conceivable, but I miss my family history project. In college, I was given a grant to begin researching my family history in the hopes of writing a book. (Toot, toot; there goes my horn again.) The book was put on the back burner when I got my own classroom and then my own family. Now, that I do not have a million and one additional responsibilities (just 999,999, now) my mind has wandered toward my family history project.

Family history is so important. Being a fairly new family in this country, my family does not have a significant paper trail to follow. With documentation comes stories that can be proven by more than just a cloudy memory from one of your aging relatives, but it is important to have both the memory and the paper.

Anyway, my point is that so many immigrant families from the turn of the century felt that America was like an orphan county with little history of which to build a solid foundation. Growing up, I felt the same way. My family was like an orphan family, of which I did not know as much as I would have liked. If one does not know their past, how can they build a future?

Family history is important to share with children and encourage them to have pride in who they are and what they are apart of. Any great family stories or family memorabilia? Share it with someone close to you. It makes a difference.

P.S. The Church has kept nearly perfect records of baptism records and so much more if you are looking for information on a specific loved one.

Being Bookish

2008-02-02T08:07:00.000-08:00

Introducing "Being Bookish," an on-line book club designed for Catholics, especially Catholic parents, who just want to read more than board books, and explore and celebrate their Faith.

Who has the the time to read for pleasure when you have children that seem to have endless amounts of energy, homes that are swirlling vortexes of chores, and family demands that take priority over work, school, and erands? The truth is that there may not be time unless we make time. Being Bookish allows people to come together and appreciate Catholic authors and books that explore Catholic themes without being overwhelming. A book every other month that promises to keep you engaged and thinking rather than pouring through pages and pages of words that no one uses anymore. Small discussion groups will allow readers to discuss any thoughts they may have about the selections. Readers can pop in and out of discussions any time within the two months given for each selection. So come join us!

The selections for this year are:

1) Big Russ & Me by Tim Russert
Big Russ and & Me celebrates the father/son relationship and shows how the Catholic Faith has shaped Tim Russert and his life. A quick read and worth it for anyone to spend some time exploring. Discussions start the end of February.

2) Mother Teresa's Lessons of Love and Secrets of Sanctity by Susan Conroy
Susan Conroy dedicated ten years of her youth to be in the service of Mother Teresa in India. Here she learned invaluable lessons and because of this continues to discern the role God has for her.

3) Introduction to the Theology of the Body by Christopher West
Since John Paul II's Theology of the Body was first published, scholars and lay Catholics have been trying to fully understand all of its meaning. Charasmatic Catholic author Christopher West, simplifies the theology and encourages discussion.

4) For One More Day by Mitch Albom
Author of Tuesday's with Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven, Mitch Albom explores the life of a fictional charcter who deals with the impact of some very powerful life choices. (Doesn't come out till April: discussions this summer.)

5) My Cup of Tea by Danielle Bean
Catholic author Danielle Bean is the senior editor of Faith and Family Magazine and admired by many mothers for her dedication to her vocation. In My Cup of Tea, Danielle shares some insights of being a parent in the Catholic Faith.

6) Why Do Catholics Do That? by Kevin Orlin Johnson
An invaluable reference and guide for Catholics and those that want to know more about Catholism, Johnson's book explores aspects of Catholism that even practicing Catholics might not even know.

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Anticipation

2008-02-01T08:32:00.000-08:00

It doesn't mean what Carly Simon meant. Here in the Great Northeast, anticipation means: weather. Yes, once again, we are in the middle of a snow/ice storm with only a dusting of 3-6 inches and a quarter to a half of an inch of ICE. Oh, I hate ice. Last time we had a quater of an inch of ice a tree fell across our road, the power went out, and we all had to huddle at my mother-in-law's for heat. The schools have all closed in anticipation of not being able to safely get the children back home. (A teacher's nightmare: stranded students in your charge.) So, I am predicting that we will lose power and that I will not be able to write for a bit.

I call these kind of days, mandatory snow days. Adults rarely get snow days, and mothers almost never get snow days, so when the weather says that you have to stay home and take it easy, I appreciate it. When my husband was at music camp as a kid, (Yes, yes, I know, geek! But he is my geek and I love him.) the students/campers would become so engrossed in their instruments that they never took time to stop practicing and have fun. The camp created something called mandatory fun, where the camp leaders would take them shopping, to eat out, or just to a park. The campers would get all annoyed because they were "wasting time" when they could be practicing, but in the end everyone benefitted from some fresh air. And I think that a mandatory snow day is healthy. Everyone can benefit from some "fresh" anything other than what they are doing normally.

Today, we are going to do dishes and laundry early, in case we no longer can use the water because of a power outage. We will take showers early and clean out the fridge in anticipation of some food passing before its time. The little one is enjoying the snow as we speak as she sleds down our hill with her father. We will bake superbowl cookies and cook dinner early. And all in all, we will spend some time away from everything else.

Service

2008-01-31T07:10:00.000-08:00

I have to admit it. Service has taken a backseat in our family, recently. When the little one turned two this past fall, my husband and I decided that it was time to do one family service project every month. Nothing outragious or grand, just a litte something that would drive the point home that we should do for others as Christ did. Well, we were successful in October, but that was as far as it went. Now, Lent is fast approaching (Feb. 6th is Ash Wednesday) and I am reminded more and more of the need for Christain Service.

Our parish, like many others, introduce Operation Rice Bowl through Catholic Relief Services. Operation Rice Bowl provides assistance to developing communities throughout the world so that they can have improved argiculture, water maintaince, mother and child care, microfinance, education, and AIDS/HIV need projects. This is a great way for families to throw some spare change that has been lying between the couch cushions into good use. Well, this was a red flag to me that we have let service slip by this winter.

But there are many other ways that we can show giving of ourselves. Make A Difference in 15, one of my favorite websites, can help with some ideas of how to create family service projects or maybe even individual service projects that can make an impact on many lives. One of my favorites is the used clothing ideas for women. As spring approaches (maybe), we all have some clothes that could be put to better use.

But the best is really giving the simple things. Is there someone ill or super stressed in your family, community, parish that could use a little pick-me-up? Send them a card. Is there a really active family in your neighborhood that would appreciate a playdate or a bannana bread and a cup of coffee? Is there someone that would appreciate a visit or a lift to the store? I know that I have been hyperfocused on my family's needs lately (with some good reason) and I have been reluctant to give anything of mine to others. As Lent approaches, I will be trying to work on that.

God Shots

2008-01-29T13:12:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to take life at a calmer pace. My body seems to be rejecting any kind of stress. (This is not easy.) Recently, at a calmer pace I have noticed that my life has been filled with subtle"God Shots." (A term from a Jay Mohr comedy routine.) Little happenings that occur that remind us that God is with us and that others exemplify the light of Christ when we need it most.

To the people at Friendly's:

Thank you, for a very nice and stress-free lunch yesterday, even though the little one seemed to re-plaster the highchair with macaroni and cheese and had an intense conversation with the waitstaff over salad dressing. Thank you, for the free balloon and letting us exchange Reese's Pieces with M & M's ,because the little cannot have peanut butter yet, on her sundae. Thank you, for letting my husband try, unsuccessfully, to win at the games in the restaurant, at the amusement of the little one. It was some of the most fun that this snowed-in, sickly, pregnant family has had in a very long time.

To my husband:

Thank you, for watching the little one as often as possible so that I can let my food settle. Thank you, for trying to stay on top of the dishes and the cleaning. Thank you. for always knowing what to do when my food doesn't stay down. (But the refrigerator has something growing within that will soon grow legs and walk out, so if you could think about finding it, my stomach and nose would be most grateful.)

To my mothers:

Thank you, mom and mom-in-law, for spontaneously surprising me with cleaning my kitchen when you come over to watch the little one, even though it takes me a week to find where you have put everything. It makes for a fun little game, and you are a good sport about it. Thank you, to my mom who makes us food when I no longer have the stomach to cook or eat the food that my husband makes. Thank you, for even making food when I don't ask.

And thank you, to the little one, who can act as if she has a constant diet of refined sugar, for giving the occasional hug and kiss to remind me why I go through this everyday.

A Prairie Home Companion

2008-01-27T09:41:00.000-08:00

Every Saturday evening on the long drive back from church, we all snuggle up and listen to A Prairie Home Companion on the radio. It's a radio variety show hosted by the famous author of the Lake Wobegon books, Garrison Keillor. It's the perfect blend of humor, song, and skits performed by a unique cast of characters. (My favorites of course, are the reports from Lake Wobegon and Guy Nior.) Our little one loves all the different varieties of music that are performed from spirituals to blue grass.

It's a great time for us to sit and relax and share in a program that doesn't seem to over stimulate you. Disappointed by commercial television programming, the radio is a nice alternative for us "commuter families" that have a long drive to and from almost anywhere. But commercial radio can be just as disappointing and C.D.'s can only go so far before everyone is bored. We are big fans of this type of entertainment that doesn't try and hit viewers or listeners over the head with advertising, graphics or over the top scandals.

I have to thank the Writer's Guild Strike. Before, my husband and I would turn on the television after a crazy day and sit still in the semi-quiet after the little one went down. (AHAHAHA) But now, there is very little worth our precious time on television. So, we have resurrected some of our old favorite movies. We remember a time that was a little simpler and share some happy memories from the past. It is inspiring us to recapture some of that simpler time. We can't go back, but we can move forward with a better understanding of what is important to us.

So, I invite you to tune out the commercial television and radio in your life and find simpler and much more entertaining ways to enjoy the people in your family. Play board games, card games, resurrect an old movie, listen to a radio program, (They have great C.D.'s of the old ones from the 40's and 50's, if your kids are a bit older.), or just share some old stories. It's a bast.

Finally, A Car

2008-01-25T13:35:00.001-08:00

It felt like a choir of angels sang as we drove the new car home and parked it on the snow covered driveway today. Finally, the new car has been purchased and is sitting outside, all shinny and new. For some reason with the new car here, and the accident far behind us, we feel like we can start to get things accomplished at a more successful rate. Our little one was so excited for this large family purchase that she thinks that the car is for her. I guess, in some way, it is for her.

Mommy Sick Days

2008-01-24T12:53:00.000-08:00

Yes, I over did it. After a disorganized Monday, Tuesday became a bit too crazy. I over did it and wound up sick that night. Food was the enemy and the world seemed too loud and fast paced. I called in back-up. I made my mother take a different lunch hour and come babysit the little one so that we could have a moments rest. (She was happy to just have some time with the little one that she didn't even mind.) My husband was so kind as to see that I was as pale as a sheet and in agony so, he took a sick day yesterday so that I could be sick. All I needed was some bland food and lots of rest. (NO prenatal vitamin today!) By this morning, I was still a bit weak, but my appetite was coming back. I've been through this before with out first pregnancy. We don't realize how fast paced our lives are until my body states in bold language, "ENOUGH!"

Mommy took a sick day. They really aren't sick days because the little one still needs to know that you are there and that everything will be alright. The husband has, what seems like, a million questions about where things are and who gets what and when. And you know that whenever you get back into the groove, there will be a mess waiting for you somewhere. But when it is all said and done, you have to remember that you have to do what's best for you and the little one within. It's only fair. And a little time away from the norm always helps other appreciate the job that you do everyday.

Prognosis: We all should be alright with continued rest and small frequent meals.

Great News!

2008-01-21T10:21:00.000-08:00

For those of you who do not know, our family is expecting a new addition. We are so excited to be having another baby. We heard the heart-beat for the first time today. It sent my husband over the moon. I immediately asked, "How many beats per minute?" (Because I panic.) Our little one has requested a little brother and a little sister, but the medical community has confirmed that there is only one in there. (Whew!) We are due in late July and have so much work to do to get ready.

A little worried about what a new addition will mean to our family chemistry, we have been reading and researching the best plan for our family. It can be difficult, but anything worth having is worth a little difficulty. It's back to the books for me. All major decisions in my life have always been followed by a research and reflection period so that I feel more mentally ready to accept the challenge. (I know, I know, I'm a bit high-strung.) My husband is calmer and doesn't seem to panic quite as much as I do. (At least there is a balance.) Thank God for prayer.

Physically, my appetite has come back (as my husband does a little happy dance because this means yummy food in the making). I get, what I call, the "tireds" and nausea, but those have been waining since the first weeks of the pregnancy. Right now, the little one and I seem to be on the same schedule: she sleeps, I sleep, she eats, I eat. It's working so far. It's all in God's hands.

Sports Fans

2008-01-20T12:34:00.000-08:00

I have to admit it, I'm not an athlete. I am as far from athletic as Joseph was at being the biological father of Jesus. It's just not possible. At four feet ten inches tall, I command no athletic presence and never wanted to. Once, in high school, the cheer leading coach asked my mother if she would consider allowing me to try out for the team. Once my mother found out the coaches use for my ninety pound body at the top of a lift, she declared a resounding, "NO!" I did, however, grow up with a respect for sports and those that have the God given talent to play them.

Growing up in New York City, baseball was in my family's blood. With annual trips to Yankee and Shea stadiums, I have fond memories of falling asleep long before the "good stuff" ever happened. My mother hated all sports except for baseball, while my little Italian-American grandmother loved all sports and giggled when my Italian born grandfather shouted at the television with such zeal, "You salami," and then fell off the chair. (Too much zeal.)

Well, as I grew older and boys no longer seemed repugnant, I fell in love and married a football fan. Oh, the agony. I had no idea about football. As most people would have done, I tried to understand the sport. I just didn't understand why the players had to hit one another so hard and why were they so angry? It seemed primitive. But over time, he wore me down, and I have grown to enjoy the game. Our little one loves to watch football with her Daddy, mostly because she likes to see her Daddy smile and cheer (and make silly faces and fall on the floor when the team does something displeasing). He even likes baseball and watches it as well.

I have a sinking suspicion that our little one will one day join a sport. She should. And I will, once again, be out of my realm. What else is new. I suppose that's all part of the game, the parenting game that is; being able to put your needs and comfort levels aside for the good of your children.

Reading, Reading, and More Reading

2008-01-19T05:55:00.000-08:00

When our little one was an infant it felt like all we did was change her, feed her, and read to her. That was the majority of our day, anyway. With some tummy time sprinkled in here, and some Peter and the Wolf there, and lots of well deserved naps for everyone, she liked reading the best.

Since about 3 months old, she could really focus in on television, so we cut it out of our daily diet. That's right, in large part no television for the little one till she was 16 months. Now, there are such strict rules about television in our house that I get some strange glances from other family members when I tell them she can't watch that. It's mainly because we feel that television should be limited, but not prohibited. We allow her to watch mostly PBS aired programming and some Fraggle Rock.

Today, the little one has three regular story times: mid-morning, before the afternoon nap, and at bedtime. She looks forward to them, for the most part, and they seem to really settle her right down when her world may be feeling a little crazy. Each story time is about 15 minutes long, grand totalling to at least 45 minutes of reading a day.

From a non-expert, it is so important to read to children at least 15 minutes a day. It increases security, self-confidence, and self-esteem. It increases literacy, word decoding, and most of all creates a love for learning and reading that can never be extinguished. Send a book to a young someone in your life. You might be pleasantly surprised by the reaction that you receive.

Pizza and A Haircut

2008-01-18T13:37:00.001-08:00

After dealing with the disappointment of not finding a car, my husband and I felt that we needed to do something as a family to refresh our positive outlook today (which has been dwindling). So, I decided we needed to go get new haircuts. Sounds drastic to some people, but getting a haircut where we live is a really pleasurable experience.

We have this lovely little salon run by the sweetest young woman. She gives the best haircut in three counties and she is a dear friend. She knows both sides of our family intimately, as she does most families in town. And our little one loves her. She's part hair dresser, counselor, cheerleader, and personal consultant. It may be a little odd that we have such a close relationship with the hairdresser, but that's the way things are here. She did the hair for all the men and women of our bridal party on my wedding day and also my sister-in-law's wedding. She even came to the house to trim my hair after I had gotten home from the hospital with our little one. She is a very special person.

The only problem is that this salon only takes walk-in's so if you want to get your cut, you might wait awhile. While you wait, you can run into every female and male counterpart in the community. Everyone talks and shares. Just so happened that my mother-in-law had the same idea this morning and we ran right into her. Small towns.

With new hair cuts we felt new and clean and ready to take on the day. While we waited, I called ahead to the local pizza joint and ordered a real treat: take-out cheese pizza and a salad (almost never done in our family). Pizza and a haircut. Family favorites, family visits, and good friends.

Honesty

2008-01-17T13:47:00.000-08:00

My husband and I try to teach our little one about honesty. We model honesty. We explain honesty in terms that she can understand. She is influenced by the family members and friends that she knows and of course she is exposed to honesty in church. Right now, she is in a stage where she is decoding what is a an untruth and what actually happened. But buying a car can really aggravate an honest person.

I simply do not understand it. I guess you could call me a strong personality. Honesty is what I am known for. I try to still be respectful and gentle, but honest. So when my husband and I explain to the salesman what we want and what we can pay for it, why does he show us something else? Just give me what I want. I don't have this kind of time. And if you can't show me what I need, just tell me and I will move on. Well, in one of my honest moves today, we left the dealership still without a new car. I thanked him for his time, but left. He offered all sorts of other ideas and hopes to give my husband and me a call. (Just wait till he does.)

Honesty. People should try it. It's refreshing and makes for good business.

Lord, Give Me Strength

2008-01-16T10:42:00.001-08:00

In my youth, my mother's favorite saying when things seemed to be spiraling out of control was, "Saint Jude, sit on my shoulders." I'm not quite sure what that really meant, but I knew that whenever she said that, I backed away slowly and quietly without any sudden moves. My favorite saying is, "Lord, give me strength." And at the time that I say it, it's more like a demand then a request. Well, today was one of those, "Lord, give me strength" days.

Things were settled with the little one. She was playing quietly. (Hooray! A silent victory parade marched through my mind.) When the doors to chaos seemed to open wide. Slowly, we managed to get everything back on track after I broke into a cold sweat and some blood vessels popped deep in my brain. And then I said it, "Lord, give me strength."

I realized that by saying this, what I really do is take a deep breath, stand back. and reevaluate what the real problem is in the middle of all the craziness. AH. Then slowly, with some divine intervention, things seem to right themselves temporarily. Sometimes, I need to talk about it, write about it, or just do something different for my nerves to settle down. When all the dust settled today, I did have strength.

Challenging, But Up.

2008-01-15T11:24:00.000-08:00

When things seems too frustrating to handle, I try to look forward toward the future. For us, we have an opportunity to take some time and plan a brief and an inexpensive (I mean dirt cheap) mini-vacation this spring. Just the idea of taking some time to get away from the three needy dogs, the snow that never seems to stop this year, my husband's crazy work schedule, and weeks that seem to already plan themselves before you even get to them, sounds divine! I love the idea of taking some family time. Sometimes you don't even have to leave the house to feel like you have gone somewhere. As a family, little things like pitching a tent in the living room and pretending like you are camping with picnic food and games, while it snows outside, can do the trick. Or if you can, give the kids to grandma for the night and create a theme night for you and your spouse, with ethic food and movies.

We also have an opportunity to finally replace the car that was totalled in the November accident. Car buying can be hard on a family. There is usually a tight budget and the stamp on your forehead that says, "I have no idea about car shopping." This time we have done the research and we are very certain about the terms and agreements that we want to make. This is the first car buying experience where I will to be apart of the "negotiations committee." With God on our side, I hope to walk away from this month with a new car. (Darn it!) But my good mood started with the purchase of a shelving unit with a left over gift card. I didn't even pay for it, but it is helping to clean-up the craziness. So use those old gift cards and certificates. It's a ball.

And it has been a tantrum-free day. We have had some close calls, but no blown fuses yet. Things are looking up. Challenging, but up.

Tantrums

2008-01-14T13:33:00.000-08:00

I always knew that deep inside we are all capable of a tantrum if we let ourselves. Well, today the little one had her first full-fledged tantrum. Scared me to pieces. Her father tried to handle it the best way he thought, but it may not have been as effective as he hoped.

In times of crisis, such as today, I take a deep breath, pray a small prayer, and stay strong, but compassionate. Then, I read. I have always been the most at home in a library. In fact, the people close to me might say that I have turned my house into a library, but I suppose their are worse things. So today, I turned to Penelope Leach's Your Baby and Child. (She has never failed me yet.) I love this book. I bought it in my fourth month of pregnancy with the little one when my OB suggested that, as an academic person, I should focus less on the child birth classes, which he claimed come naturally, and study parenting. It was one of the best $20 I ever spent. She tells you the physical and mental needs behind eating and growing, teething, sleeping, crying, playing and so much more. And then gives practical advice that can guide a parent to handling situations positively. We have gone through some difficult times with our little one's growth and this book has never been wrong.

After reading it, I explained to my husband that we could have done better. I suggested that he read it as well. After which we both feel like we can handle the next tantrum a bit better now that we know where they are coming from. In parenting as in life, I suppose you will always make mistakes. But the hope is to learn from the mistakes and be a better person and therefore, be a better parent.

Oh, What A Night!

2008-01-13T13:32:00.000-08:00

"In mid-January, back in '08.." (Doesn't have quite the same ring as the original, "Oh, What A Night!") Anyway, the little one has been really under the weather. On Thursday, when we almost had this cold knocked out of her, she caught it again from her father. AHAHAHAH! So, I give up. We are going to the doctor first thing in the morning and if they don't give me an early appointment, so help me God, I will reach through the phone and explain the fires of Hell to that nurse. (Can you tell that I haven't gotten any sleep in two nights?)

Knitting Knutts

2008-01-12T10:30:00.000-08:00

I have to admit it. I am a knitting nut! I love to play around with new stitches and yarns. I love to spin wools and other fibers for a real homespun look.

When I was an adolescent, not a pretty time in my past, I latched on to the fiber arts like most teenagers latch on to parties. I was small and socially awkward. I hadn't yet figured out my own personal style. ( And don't think that I have quite mastered style even still.) My parents did not have much, but for a time they owned a small store on Main Street in our small town. A sister of our neighbor often demonstrated fiber arts and my parents invited her to demonstrate at the store. I was fascinated. I asked to learn how to spin right away, but the response was, "What would you do with all that yarn if you do not know how to knit?" So I learned how to knit first. My mother and I went to all kinds of knitting and spinning club meetings and bees for years. It's a great hobby to share with kids. I can't wait till my little is old enough, but I sure do love the baby sweater phase, too.

As an adult, I just do not have the time or resources to donate to the cause anymore. But I still try new patterns and yarns. This year I have decided that everyone next Christmas is going to get something hand knitted. I started the day after this past Christmas and so far no real progress. With all the sickness running around our family, I haven't knitted much, but I am still committed. Maybe soon I'll have a scarf or something to show for all the hard work.

Who's Excited for Lent

2008-01-11T10:10:00.000-08:00

Lent was never my favorite season in the Church calendar. As a kid, it always seemed so solemn. All I knew was that I had to give something up as Jesus had given his life. One year, the Sisters at school said that we should give up something that we really loved. So I gave up cucumbers, my favorite snack in the whole world. (My mother was a health-nut like I am today.) When she asked what I had given up, and I told her cucumbers, she protested. She said I had to pick something else. I never could find a satisfactory substitute.

As I become older, I sacrificed on a grander scale. I once gave up television. (I had the best grades ever during that quarter.) I gave up candy once. (The dentist was happy about that.) It wasn't until I became a twenty-something that the sacrifices became more about cleansing myself of negativity and giving of myself more and more to God. I pledged to be more prayerful. I pledged to me more understanding. I pledged to be more giving of my material goods. (Though there was never much to give, especially in college.) When my husband and I married, our first Lent together was spent largely apart. I was pregnant and miserable and he was working. So I have grown to almost dread this season. I lose my husband to a landslide of work commitments and I have to work harder spiritually and physically.

But this year, something is different. I'm looking forward to Lent. I can't really explain it except to say that there is a normalcy in this ritual cleansing that I am craving this year. Our family has experienced some abnormalities this last year and I like knowing what I can expect, to some degree, this Lent. It's like a spring cleaning for the spirit where I am able to do more and be more for others. Plus, the little one can understand more this year, so maybe it will have even more meaning for our family. I invite everyone to get more excited about Lent as an opportunity rather than an obligation.

The Kitchen

2008-01-10T10:15:00.000-08:00

Ah, the kitchen. The center of our house. Maybe it's because with two adults and a growing toddler we eat constantly. Maybe it's because of the yummy meals that come from love. Maybe because it is one of the few times we all sit still and enjoy each other all day. Maybe it's because if you ever want to talk to me for any length of time, you'll find me in the kitchen. Maybe its because we watch too much Food Network. I'm not exactly sure what the recipe was, but I'm sure glad that it has worked out that way.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot keep the little one out of the kitchen. I panic when I am cooking and she is anywhere close to the kitchen. I think it is just too dangerous. But she is curious and wants to be with mommy. When she was little I could give her a plastic spatula and a bowl and she would go to town. We even bought her her very own kitchen. She has little interest in it. She wants to be in the real kitchen. After I have regained some patience, I usually try and have her help in the kitchen. She has been helping prepare meals and baked goods for about 6 months now. I put her in her booster seat, strap her in, and let her mix ingredients. Recently, she has become really good at pouring and cracking eggs. She loves it.

As she gets older, and bigger, she has become a climber. She can get on, over, under, between anything in our house. Yesterday, she decided that the booster seat was just not going to cut it. Within two seconds, she hopped up on a dining room chair, knelt, put her elbows on the table and asked what she could help with. After my heart leaped in panic, I couldn't help but smile. (She has a way of making me do that.) She seemed steady. So I cut some oven baked potato fries and had her season them while we talked and snacked on broccoli stems. When daddy came home for dinner, I told him that Emma made the fries. He asked her if this was true. She smiled and casually said, "Yeah." As if to say, "No big deal, wait till you see what I will do when I get older." We all can't wait for that.

The Dream

2008-01-09T09:40:00.000-08:00

The dream is to have a medium sized family with children well spaced out so that everyone feels special and appreciated without driving mommy to the pscych ward at the local hospital.

The dream is to have a small well maintained home with low ceilings to breed closeness.

To have the children share bedrooms and learn the difficulties and the joys of respecting each others space.

The dream is to have the children do their homework around the dining room table every afternoon and evening, asking questions about topics that we have long since forgot.

The dream is to have the older children read to and grow closer to their younger siblings rather than resent their existence for their whole life.

The dream is to have family breakfast and dinner at least 4 days out of 5.

The dream is to look outside and see children playing on the lawn.

The dream is to have well adjusted and polite children that enjoy doing family activities together.

The dream is to mention the idea of a vacation and everyone puts in their two cents, and begins to get truly excited.

The dream is to go to so many concerts, recitals, games, matches, and shows that we know the teachers, classmates, families, and layout of every building by heart.

The dream is to be making dinner and have little hands trying to snatch a taste before its ready.

The dream is for the children to never see a boundary between going to church and living the Church.

The dream is for the children to love and respect their grandparents and absorb their goodness.

The dream is for my husband and I to have such close relationships with our children that they miss us when they leave.

The dream is to have our children choose their vocations with the confidence that we will respect and support their decisions.

The dream is to have a long and loving marriage as a gift to our children.

That's the dream.

We Have a Chest Cold

2008-01-08T09:44:00.000-08:00

I have to admit that I am a scared-y-pants when it comes to bacteria and viruses. Their potential is endless, and as a mom all I want to do is exterminate them immediately.

For three weeks during the Christmas season I had the worst chest cold. It just wanted to be bronchitis. But I wouldn't let it. Now, the little one has it and we are fighting it every step of the way. After my doctor recommended some over the counter medicines we have taken the offensive. Lots of water, plain but nutritious food, lots of sleep, restful activities, and some old fashion tried and true remedies. And slowly, but surely we are winning the war.

I panic inside, but I show an outer composure of nurturing confidence. My husband has chronic asthma that is always one cold away from a hospital visit. So when a germ invades our house we go on high alert. Washing sheets, changing toothbrushes, disinfecting, no touching eyes or nose. We must conquer.

Labeling

2008-01-07T10:29:00.000-08:00

Alright, mommy moment.

It is very obvious to anyone who watches my family, and I really don't suggest it for long periods of time, that we do not fit in any sort of mold. I'm 4 feet ten inches tall and my husband is six feet tall. (Dancing is a struggle.) And our little one has a projected growth curve at around five feet six inches tall. I have black hair, my husband has blond, and our little one has brown. I have brown eyes, my husband has green, and the little one has blue. It goes around and around this way.

I would venture that as varied as human beings are, so are parenting styles. My husband and I parent differently then our parents did us. There are many reasons why we have chosen a different path. We have different priorities, struggles, environments, and life experiences. I do not think less of my parents simply because they did things differently. I have faith that they did the best they could under the circumstances. As I also feel about other more contemporary families.

However, there has been great buzz in "mommy cyberspace" about attachment parenting theory and other Catholic models of parenting. I have to be honest, I had never heard of such a thing till recently. I'm not a psychologist, but as a teacher, as a mom, as a fairly academic person, I think this is an open-ended war. Parents are running into dangerous territory.

It is healthy for different theories to present themselves and to also be academically evaluated. However, I do not think that it is healthy for parents to criticize each other over the theories that they prescribe to unless there is harm done to the child. When the issues are boiled down it seems to be a case of labeling. Parents want to label their parenting styles and their children so that others can easily contrast them to the greater public. In education, as well as in life, labeling can be a dangerous action. It can be good to label, to a degree, such as labeling a child learning disabled so that the child can receive services to better the learning process. However, the danger comes in the prescribing of the same services to that child no matter the need. Services are provided to the child based on an individual education plan. Then there comes the stigma. The stereotype. Labeling can hurt.

I firmly believe that each child has an individual education plan as well as an individual parenting plan. Sure there are some generalities that can be drawn for some families, but as varied as a humans physical appearance, so is their emotional, social, and spiritual needs that we as parents must tune into and tune out of all this right way/wrong way nonsense. Even if you do not verbalize it, parents still fell the implications.

Your Name?

2008-01-06T13:29:00.000-08:00

My husband's job is a rather public one, well, at least it is public to the over 1,500 families that attend our parish. With four solidly attended masses every weekend, daily mass, weddings, funerals, retreats, sacraments, a vibrant youth community, committees, and ministries growing every year, my husband comes in contact with a few people. He manages music for all liturgies, an average 30 member choir (which swells to 40 members during Christmas and Easter, go figure), children's choir, nearly 20 cantors, and a folk ensemble every week. He's amazing.

But aside from his nearly superhero-like schedule, the strangest thing keeps happening to the both of us. Let me give you a taste......One day, in city far far from here, my family and I were taking an annual Christmas shopping trip to a book and toy store. We stopped at a coffee shop to settle down for some homemade meatloaf sandwiches from "Spaeth Catering" when some nice older folks loudly proclaimed that they had spied the, "piano player, from church." They came right up to our family and told us all about their day and how much they enjoy church and the music. It was nice, but they never introduced themselves. And before we knew, they we gone.

In the book store, I had some lovely lady pop up behind me and tell me how much my little one has grown. She remembered when she was an infant and enjoys watching her at mass. ("And you are?") And the next thing I know, she was called over to help a customer. Apparently, she was working at the book store. My husband gets incidents like this all the time at mass. People come up to him and talk to him, good or bad, they more often then not, never give a name. And the next thing you know they are off and running someplace else.

We understand that because my husband, and therefore our family, is apart of so many special moments, and as regular as the sun coming up on the weekends, he is a constant for parishioners. They feel like they know him. Sometimes, if we are lucky, we able to ask for a name before people hop along. From now on, I make a conscious effort to introduce myself to people, even if they have done some ground work and already know who I am, I introduce myself. It's polite. And it doesn't take much effort to be just a little kinder. You never know.

The Gopher

2008-01-05T10:05:00.000-08:00

Years ago, during a long season of duress, my cousin-in-law, gave us a Gopher.

No, not a real one, thank God. One of those handy helping tools sold on the T.V., the Gopher is like an arm extension, so that with a squeeze of a trigger you can grab almost anything. She gave everyone a Gopher that year. She's a physical therapist and doesn't believe in over extending. We laughed and teased her for a whole year about this obviously unusual gift.

This was about five years ago and since then we haven't the heart to throw it away. Recently, bending hasn't been a pleasurable experience so I dusted off the old Gopher and tried it out. Before this, the Gopher was only used to dispose of dead mice that lost their battles during the winter season. So I disinfected it and ever since it has been a life saver. I grab everything with that thing: toys, clothes, stuffed animals, crayons, dog bowls, you name it.

So the moral of the story is: We live in a throw away culture. So often we chuck anything that isn't of the most use at that very moment with little forethought. Think carefully. Some strange gift that you get one day could be helpful later on, especially if it is given out of love and concern. A little wacky, no doubt, but my cousin-in-law was thinking of our best interest. So think carefully this new year, as you consider the clutter and spring cleaning around the corner. There may be use for something yet.

The Eye Doctor

2008-01-04T10:36:00.000-08:00

"Can you see me now?"

When we had our little girl, my husband and I decided that we should make certain that we were comfortable and satisfied with all of our family doctors so that from a young age, our little one could also feel comfortable. That seemed reasonable to me. So we made sure we were comfortable with all our doctors, but the optometrist was last on the list because his appointments only come around every two years.

We thought that our little one might benefit from something a little less high traffic than our usual eye care center in the mall. We were concerned, however, because our eye coverage isn't the most comprehensive. But we saved and were finally ready to get the show on the road.

It is so important for infants and toddlers to see an eye doctor as early as possible. Most doctors recommend that an infant see an eye doctor within the first year of life, sometimes through the InfantSEE program, but we felt that our little one wasn't ready for that. She was quite terrified of the doctor then. We felt that by forcing her into a scary situation with instruments coming at her in the dark might not be the best confidence building outcome that we could hope for. Plus we both felt that her vision didn't seem conpromised and there was no real sign to worry.

But today we have SUCCESS!! The eye doctor is wonderful. He's professional and gentle, and most of all caters to families. We are so blessed to have finally rounded up a group of professional doctors and nurses that we feel comfortable with and that our little one feels comfortable with. Being your family's advocate is one of the most important jobs a parent has.

The Tree

2008-01-03T09:56:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, but the tree must come down!

I know that the Christmas season is still upon us, but the tree has to come down. Every year we leave the tree up through Epiphany, but this year, it's too cluttered. There are still remains of Christmas wrapping scraps, glitter, and newly acquired toys blossoming all over the living room. Half of the lights spontaneously went out around December 15th and the dogs have eaten all the macaroni garland from the bottom of the tree. It's a sad looking beast at this very moment.

We still have our Jessie Tree and the Nativity on display. Aren't those the true Christmas symbols, anyway? My little girl understands more so that Christmas is "Jesus' Birthday" rather than why we have this large plastic tree that lights up in the middle of the living room restricting her play space. (We have to have an artificial tree because my husband is allergic to the real thing. That's right. He sneezes uncontrollably if he is within 30 feet of those green rascals. I wonder what it would be like to take him on a hike?)

So, if you have a tree and you can still keep it up, buy all means, keep the Christmas tree for all to enjoy. But if you have to take it down, let's not let the true meaning of Christmas be put away or thrown to the side of the road for garbage pick-up. God gave his only son, in his most vulnerable form, for us to know and love. Let's treasure this.

Life in the Great Northeast

2008-01-02T09:36:00.000-08:00

This is how you know you live East of Nowhere.....

This morning my husband had to crank up the snow-blower as the sun was rising to clear the driveway. Not too uncommon. But he had a bit of trouble getting out because the dirt road that our driveway is adjacent to had not been plowed. So he snow blowed that, too. It's not so much that it hadn't been plowed, but that it was never going to be plowed. See, the town refuses to plow this road for some unknown reason and the only way we can get out is if a 70 year old neighbor of ours that bears a striking resemblance to Santa Claus, encourages his 50 year old Jeep Wrangler, which he coaxes with sweet nothings to get up the hill. However, he mainly plows because his younger sister must use this dirt road as well. So if she doesn't need him to plow he might not, or in the very best do it when he is ready and able, rather than at our family's convenience. Although this situation is good for a laugh, the Church my husband works at cannot stop masses, funerals, and meetings simply because it snowed. So we make the best of it. My husband is usually covered in a cloud of snow from the snow blower, our daughter knows the sound of it almost instantly, and we all pray for small scrapper banks and warm sun to melt our troubles away.

First Day

2008-01-01T10:29:00.000-08:00

First day of the new year and we have another 8 inches of snow! And of course, my husband had to play for the Holy Day today and had to drive through the unplowed roads. My heart skips a beat every time he sleds home in this weather. We live about an hour away from church so just going to work on a clear day can be an adventure. But he is finally home, safe and secure. We are going to spend the rest of the day with each other and who ever is brave enough to push the limits of automobile safety to get to our little house. I wish all of you a Happy New Year.

The New Year

2007-12-31T10:04:00.000-08:00

Everyone deserves a fresh start. This year, my family and I could certainly use a clean slate. Full of challenges and stresses that would rival the building of the Great Wall of China, this year is one that we can be proud to have made it through, but for the grace of God. Now that we put some of that behind us, we are looking toward making New Year's resolutions.

Resoultions can seem silly because so many people make unrealistic goals and demands on themselves that they have no hope of ever accomplishing, but I look it as an opportunity. An opportunity to set small goals for yourself and your family to improve. This year my goal is to pay more attention to this blog. It has been a bit neglected lately, and that's not fair. My husband's resolution was semi-forced on him by his doctor and his cholestorol test: to be more active. (The damage done to his body was done before I was involed in "Spaeth Catering" everyday. lol) The bottom line is that both of our goals will help us be a better family, by improving our mental and physical health we can be better parents.

So make a resolution, a small realistic one. And if you feel so bold....share it with us.

Cold and Flu Season

2007-11-29T13:03:00.000-08:00

I think I'm a germaphobe. Ever since my husband and I had our first child, I have been manic about germs. For a while I taught in a public school, where children came to school sneezing and coughing and felt the need to share their misfortune with anyone within a mile radius.

Our child was born in October, which is the height of cold and flu season. This only indulged my germaphobia. The doctor that saw our baby in the hospital said that we should not feel the need to let everyone hold her, especially if they seemed to be germy. That sealed it for me. Everyone had to sanitize their hands the second they walked in the door. My poor husband could not get within feet of the baby until he changed his shirt and sanitized his hands. I would take scalding hot showers before I would hold her if I went out. The showers may be a bit crazy, but the truth be told, she never had more than a cold for the last two years, and neither have we.

It seems that people seem to feel that germs are just a natural part of the winter season and we should just learn to get through it. Well, maybe not. Yes, there may be more germs when the human race is huhddled up in their cozy houses waiting for the big chill to where off, but shouldn't we be more considerate? Shouldn't we know not to shake hands with someone when our noses are leaking more fluids than the Panama Canal? Shouldn't we know that if we have a fever or cannot stop coughing that it would be best to stay home rather than infect the populus? Shouldn't we know that we should use tissues rather than our shelves?

Well, the truthis that there are people who just cannot avoid being sick and still have to work, go shopping, and circulate among the masses. So here are a couple tips from one mom to the world:

1) Always carry a small container of hand saniziter or saniziting wipes. Wipe everyone in the families hands clean after you have visited a public place like a library, museum, or resturant.
2) Wipe down grocery store carts or department store carts, especially during the shopping season.
3) Through diaper bags, changing pads, floppy seats, car seat liners, and winter gear in the wash as much as possible. Think of all the places that you have set down your bags or winter gear and then all the places in your home that you have set them down. Yuck!
4) Make an effort not to touch your face when you have touched public doorknobs, gone shopping, or pets.

Anymore tips? Please let us know. This the season.

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-21T15:55:00.001-08:00

We have so much to be grateful for this year. My family and I have survived a nasty car accident with an unlicensed driver almost two weeks ago now. It was a crazy time, but we are all so thankful to God that we are all here and healthy enough to celebrate a wonderful Thanksgiving. We also want to thank everyone for their well wishes from our family at St. Peter's to our friends and close family here at home. Thank you!

School Days

2007-11-01T13:29:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I have to get something off my chest! As a former teacher, I have seen all kinds of parents doing what they think is best for their children's education. And now that I am a parent doing the very same thing, the best for my child, my husband and I frequently make sure that we are doing just that, and not pushing our child into something that doesn't fit!

Education is such a valuable gift that we can give to our children. Like faith, education and the love of learning walk with a person through their entire lives. How can we ensure that we are providing all that we can for our children? Money certainly isn't the answer, contrary to some opinions. The best way that we can ensure that our children's education is meeting their needs is to become an advocate for our children. This can be super difficult when grandparents, societal norms, and labeling push parents into prematurely identifying something that isn't there.

Listening and teaching people were two of the most outward examples of God's love and mercy that Jesus portrayed on earth. Understanding and exemplifying compassion toward our children, and their learning, may be two ways that we can model Christ to our children. Once we are able to truly identify the areas of strength and improvement, we are better able to provide assistance to children in the form of classes, professionals, methods, technology, or especially our presence may be the most helpful to a child's learning. Instead of pushing children into learning, we as parents and teachers must guide our children's learning and support them. Children instinctively want to learn. We must not damper that enthusiasm with pressure from outside sources.

As a teacher, I found the most profound learning advances always came when students worked together and felt that they were in a safe environment to express themselves and appreciate others. Parents that were concerned about their child's education were always welcomed by teaching professionals. It was obvious that learning first started in the homes of many students, with their parents as models. It is critical to a solid education that parents of children of all needs be reminded that their child's first teachers and classrooms start in their homes. And it is critical that parents take their role as teacher seriously enough to ensure the gift of education remains sacred and valued. Thanks, for letting me get that off my chest!

Family Service

2007-10-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

So I am a huge classic movie fan. I love them all from Lost Angel to The African Queen to Guess Who's Coming To Dinner. I love the escapism that classic movies provide. It's a world far far away. But the reality is that we live in a world that needs as much help as we are able to contribute. As a mother, I want my children to be able to contribute and give to the community from an early age.

I learned once that Joan Crawford, a classic actress, made her children reluctantly donate their favorite Christmas presents each year to needy families. Although an admirable act of charity, the method may have been a bit muddled. I wanted to be more clear, and less cruel, when modeling service for my children. A birthday recently came upon our family and my husband and I decided that it was the right age for our child to begin a service project independent from our family service projects. So when the invitations went out, we asked each guest to contribute a non-perishable food item to the party celebrations. We collected the food and donated it to the U.S. Postal Service Harvest Food Drive, a food donation program for those in need in our community. Our child was involved in all the different parts of this project and really felt like they were helping others.

The great part about this service project was that it has greater meaning then just donating to a local program. The birthday party was a "Pasta Party." It was based on one of our favorite children's story that tells of a girl and her mother of whom are poor and hungry, till they are given a magic pasta pot. The young girl and her mother, so over joyed by their good fortune, hold an annual pasta party for their community in thanksgiving. So as the guests arrived we had them pile their items in the biggest pasta pot that we could find, putting a visual to the story for our family. And the best part was that it was all our child's idea. I love it when it all works out that way.

Even if you and your family already complete many service projects here are a few more ideas. Check out Make a Difference in 15 Minutes http://charityguide.org/volunteer/fifteenminutes.htm. I love this site and I know you will too. What do you and your family do as service projects? Share.

Thursday Night Retreats

2007-10-14T16:26:00.001-07:00

I've been working on this post for a while and I would love to hear what you have to say.

Life seems to steadily get far more complicated by the end of the week then at the beginning. I really wish this wasn't true. For many, this may seem reasonable since most of us have relaxed to some degree on the weekends and take that calming nature with us into the week ahead. But for some, our lives are not broken up that simply. Some work nights, some have strange schedules, work weekends, have multiple jobs, or try to squeeze in as many family activities humanly possible into 48 hours that going to work on Monday seems like a relief from the weekend.

My family is on such a strange work/relax schedule that trying to keep the same two days a week to slow down and enjoy each other has become a secret priority.

To find some time where I can relax and find peace, I have begun taking mini-retreats. Bear with me for a minute while I explain myself. My cable company airs a channel called EWTN (Eternal Word Television Network). For those who haven't heard of it, EWTN is a global Catholic network run by Sisters and Brothers, as well as lay people. On Thursday nights at 8PM a program called Life on the Rock is broadcast. They invite guests who exemplify, for me, the modern Catholic, to share their story and gain support. By their example hopefully viewers can gain a better understanding of the Faith and maybe examine their own lives. The program is largely an interview between the clergy and a guest.

I like my little faith time-out. I enjoy my time reflecting and listening to others so much that I make sure I have answered phone calls, taken care of family, and feed the dogs before this program so that I am uninterrupted. I invite you to check out my mini-Thursday retreats. It's my quite time. And check out www.EWTN.com for more programming info.